The Awesome Joke Book!

#31

One day, Mr. and Mrs. Smith talked about having a child one day. Since Mr. Smith was unable to conceive, the decided on a surrogate father. Mr. Smith kissed and waved goodbye to his wife.

"He should be here soon." He said.

Half an hour later, by chance, a baby photographer knocked on the door. Mrs. Smith opened the door and the man started to speak.

"Hello ma'am. I came here to-"

"No, we've been expecting you."

She let the man in and he sat down. They started to talk about what the photographer was business.

Blushing a bit, Mrs. Smith asked, "Well, where should we start?"

"Leave it to me," the photographer said. "I usually try one in the bathtub, a couple on the couch. Sometimes the living room floor is nice. You can really spread out."

Mrs. Smith thought, No wonder it didn't work for Elliot and I!

"We can start with one position and spread out our horizon or try different angles. I usually go for 6 or 7 angles."

"My gosh, that's a lot!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.

"Well, as much as I would like to be in and out in five minutes, in sure you'd be disappointed in the results."

"Don't I know it..."

The photographer pulled his briefcase from the floor and pulled out baby pictures.

"This was done on the top of a bus."

"My goodness!"

"And these twins turned out well considering their mother was difficult."

"Difficult?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally took her to the park to get the job done right an by that time, people were crowding four or five deep."

"Four or five deep?"

"Yes. For nearly three hours too. The mother was constantly yelling and squealing and it started to et dark so I had to rush my shots. When the squirrels started nibbling on my equipment, I decided to pack it up."

"They nibbled on your... equipment?"

"Yes. I just hoped it didn't affect it to keep the shot straight."

"Well that's why my husband and I called you here."

"Well, if your ready, I'll set up my tripod and get to work."

"A t-tripod?" She asked.

"Oh yes. My Canon is to big to hold for a long time in my hand."

Mrs. Smith fainted.