midnight musings

the dark

i like the dark.

sometimes it's better than the light.

i enjoy watching it swallow up the brightness and infecting it like poison.

i like the feeling of the abyss swallowing me whole, immersing myself and becoming one with the blackness.

in the darkness, there is no judgement. my hideous features are shadowed.

there is no scale to mock me, no ruler to remind me of my miniscule existence.

my friends are concerned. i'm sorry, i mean they would be-- at least, i imagine they would be... if i had any.

when i was younger, i hated the dark. monsters and horrible, grotesque creatures lurked in the dark.

but then i saw what beasts and horrors lied inside of people.

i ran back to the dark the way a found lost child runs to its mother.

now the dark is my home.

i have a little piece of it to take with me.

i've made acquaintances with the monsters who lurk.

they're nice once you get to know them.

at least, nicer than the ones outside.

they won't stab you in the back or spew lies.

perfect.

the dark is perfect.

however perfection is a flaw within its self.

it is beautifully captivating, like movie stars from old black and white films,

but sometimes it can overwhelm me.

choke me.

i lose control and slip farther, sink faster, fall harder.

i feel lightheaded, the room is spinning.

"make it stop!" i cry.

"make it go away, please!"

the desperation in my voice hangs in my throat.

i feel screams racing to the top of my open mouth.

i miss the bright light.

the warmth of it against my skin.

bring it back to me, let me go!

suddenly i am completely lost, submerged, never again to be found, i am g--

i like the dark.

sometimes it's better than the light.

sometimes.