midnight musings

intoxication

i am going to admit it. right here, right now.

i am fourteen years old and have been intoxicated.

multiple times actually.

i have felt the numbing buzz.

yes, i have been intoxicated countless times before.

it's quite lovely, actually.

like an out-of-body experience, it makes me feel weightless.

i feel on top of the world, nothing can stop me.

my judgement is hazed as if a blanket has been pulled over my head.

everything feels like a blur,

almost unreal.

decision making and all logic is chucked out the window.

i've never vomited or passed out,

i'm in complete control.

hangovers are the worst,

the pounding sensation, the ache.

i start to long for the giddy happiness i had before.

i have been drunk yet,

i've never stepped foot in a bar,

never met the metallic scent of alcohol,

never felt the cold, brash liquid meet my lips,

but i have been drunk,

hazy, giddy, loud,

drunk on a feeling,

drunk on love.