OH YEAH IM BACK
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Tubbo: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.
Tommy: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.
Tubbo: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time
Tubbo: This is a mistake
Tommy, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!
Tubbo: But not today
Tommy, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess
Tubbo: Can you please be serious for five minutes?
Tommy: My record is four, but I think I can do it.
Tommy: What’s up guys? I’m back.
Tubbo: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.
Tommy: Death is a social construct
Tommy: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Tubbo: You need to stop
Tommy: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you
Tubbo: 10 times 0 is still 0 though
Tommy: Jokes on you, I can't do math
Tubbo: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Tommy: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up
Tommy: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.
Tubbo: Tommy, that's a coma.
Tommy: Sounds festive
Tommy: God, give me patience.
Tubbo: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Tommy: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead
Tommy: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean?
Tubbo: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
Tommy: but what’s the first worst thing?
*Awkward pause*
Tubbo: Tommy, they...they weren’t always orphans.
Tommy:
(DSMP QUOTE ON MY GENORATOR?? and no I can't speeeel)
Tommy: You're right.
Tubbo: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
Tommy: Can you keep a secret?
Tubbo: Do you know anything about my life?
Tommy: No I do not. Good point.
Tubbo: I actually have a black belt.
Tommy: In what, karate?
Tubbo: No, from Gucci.
Tommy: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.
*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*
Tubbo: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE F#CKIN’ STAIRS.
Tommy: Hey Tubbo can I get a sip of your water?
Tubbo: It's not water.
Tommy: Vodka, I like your style!
Tubbo: It's vinegar.
Tommy: Wh-Wha-
Tubbo: It's vinegar, COWARD.
Tommy: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.
Tubbo: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?
Tommy: No! Four to five seconds!
Tubbo: Too late!!!
Tommy: So what’s for dinner?
Tubbo, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.
Tommy, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day!
Tubbo: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar,
Tubbo: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?!
Tommy, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS
Tubbo: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU F#CKING POSSESSED?!
Tubbo: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND
Tommy, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ
Tommy: *Stubs their toe* F*CK!
Tubbo: Mind your language!
Tommy: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
Tubbo:
Tommy: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.
Tommy: Today is a day of running through hurdles.
Tubbo: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?
Tommy: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.
Tommy: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?
Tubbo: *chugs entire bottle*
Tubbo: It’s perfume.
Tommy: What are your goals?
Tubbo: To pet all the dogs.
Tommy: No, fitness goals.
Tubbo: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.
Tommy: What the f*ck is wrong with you?!
Tubbo: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.
Tommy: Good morning. What the f#ck is wrong with you?!
Tommy: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!
Tubbo: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!
Tommy: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut...
Tubbo: You would eat yourself?
Tommy: I wouldn’t even question it.
Tommy: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.
Tubbo: Only if you also don't ask why
Tubbo: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.
Tommy:
Tubbo:
Tommy: This one is fine
Tommy: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
Tubbo: Tommy, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumb#ss.
Tommy: I was thinking I'd do some magic-
Tubbo: You? Magic? Tommy, it says talent show.
Tommy: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent?
Tubbo: Go the f*ck to sleep
Tommy: What gif I don't want to?
Tubbo: F#ck You
Tubbo: How petty can you get?
Tommy: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
Tommy: F^ck.
Tubbo: We've got to work on your cursing.
Tommy: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already
Tubbo: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Tommy, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
Tommy: Welcome, fellow idiots
Tubbo: Hello, Tommy
Tommy: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot
Tubbo: You underestimate me
Tommy: Violence isn't the answer.
Tubbo: You’re right.
Tommy: *sighs in relief*
Tubbo: Violence is the question.
Tommy: What?
Tubbo, bolting away: And the answer is yes.
Tommy, running after them: NO-
Tommy: *Accidentally hits Tubbo in the face*
Tommy: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m f*cking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*
Tommy: ARE YOU F#CKING SORRY?!
Tubbo: What’s wrong with you?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IM BACK sorry I took a really long break but it was really needed. I got the Quote Book!!! And I'm gonna see Taylor Swift!! I'm so happy! Anyways school has been stressful for me and I really just wanted to focus on that for a while but now I am getting therapy and I'm feeling a lot better (mentally). Also, THAT c!TOMMY LORE MESSED ME UP, not going to give aby spoilers though cuz I don't think a lot of people have watched the vods.
WC: 1177
Thanks for reading and thanks for 900 views!! This is the most views I've ever gotten and I'm very excited to see how this books goes! Love you, stay safe, and have a good day/night!!!
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DSMP Incorrect Quotes
Humorjust a bunch of incorrect quotes :) Edit: I've quit this fandom but read it if you want, it started as a joke and ended as one so don't take any of this super seriously lol 2024 edit - Please be careful reading this, it was made two years ago and so...
