This is exactly what the title says.
These are all oneshots/drabbles that I wrote out based on randomly generated incorrect quotes! It's chaos with one serious scene sprinkled in. Enjoy!
Some ships included.
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James frowned as he twirled the white cord of the rotary phone around his finger, the receiver end pressed against his ear. Pink Floyd's "Money" played on the record player behind him, the methodic clash of change and deep bass resounding through the living room. He waited impatiently, foot tapping the carpeted floor as he waited and waited for Sirius to pick up the phone. Had he dialled the wrong number? James asked himself, knowing he wasn't very familiar with muggle electronics and neither was his best mate.
"Bloody great day, ain't it Prongsie!" Came Sirius's cheery voice, and James immediately smiled, albeit a bit worriedly 'cause since when was Sirius ever so chipper?
"Hello, Sirius," Came Lily's voice and James melted slightly, but no others followed.
"Hey guys," James greeted before asking. "The others couldn't make it?"
He heard shuffling on one end before a loud squeak transmitted through his phone, most likely one of his two friends sitting down somewhere.
"Nope," Lily sounded like she was chewing gum. "Peter had some family thing going on and... well, it's a full moon in two days so Remus's down for the count."
James's gut twisted and even Sirius grunted apathetically. "Well, at least Moony's got his old man, yeah? For when we can't help him out?"
"Not much of a father, that one," James grunted with a sigh before shaking his head. "Nevermind that. Padfoot, how're you doing?"
Lily fell silent, as did Sirius.
Everyone in their friend group knew Sirius wasn't in the best family situation. Both of his parents were horrendously abusive towards Sirius and his younger brother, so naturally, his friends worried a great deal when they went back to the Black house for breaks. During the summer holiday, when Sirius didn't have the option to stay at Hogwarts, James found himself worrying a lot.
"I'm doing fine, mate," Sirius reassured with a breathy laugh, but there was still a twinge of uneasiness that always rang in his voice when talking about his family.
James frowned. "You sure you're doing alright?"
"Yes, I'm sure Jamie Boy," Sirius let out a huff of a laugh this time. "Turns out this whole animagus thing is super useful."
It fell silent again. James was vaguely aware of his Pink Floyd record being swapped out for The Hollies instead.
"What does that mean?" Lily finally cracked after the first riff of "Long Cool Woman (In a Black Dress)".
There was more shuffling on the other end and when Sirius finally spoke, James could practically hear his grin. "Dearest mum said I was being ungrateful and that, 'because of everything she's done for me,' I should be kissing her boots."
James grunted in anger and Lily made a strangled noise of disdain, but that wasn't where Sirius wanted to stop his story.
"So I ate the boots-" Lily let out a bark of surprised laughter and James snorted violently. "And shredded every other pair I could find in the house."
"You didn't-"
"Oh, but I did," Sirius's grin had grown. "There's also black dog hair everywhere. No one can find out where it's coming from. Mum's losing it." He cut himself off to laugh at his own antics. "It's amazing."
There was silence before James laughed into the transmitter end of his phone. "Well... at least you're having fun, mate."
