This is exactly what the title says.
These are all oneshots/drabbles that I wrote out based on randomly generated incorrect quotes! It's chaos with one serious scene sprinkled in. Enjoy!
Some ships included.
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"Oi Moony, why don't you have a girlfriend yet?"
Remus's head snapped up so fast his neck cracked. James's eyes widened behind his glasses in alarm, afraid he had somehow offended Remus because of the sudden confused yet disgusted expression he wore. Peter slowly leaned around James to get a better look at Remus after hearing his neck crack, and Sirius remained peacefully fixated on his dinner.
"I-" Remus began like he was at a loss for words. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me," James pressed with a shrug and Peter shot him a questioning look. "You're a wonderful guy, any girl would be lucky to date you."
Remus pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. His untouched cup of tea clinked against the Great Hall's table. "What do you mean by 'any girl'?"
"Easy," James shrugged again and leaned back on the bench, lacing his fingers behind his head and nearly drowning Peter in his quidditch robes. "You're safe. And kind. Seriously though, do you have anyone you like?"
"Sirius-"
"Don't look to him for help!" Peter snorted into his soup as James cut Remus off. "Is she in our year? Our house? Are you open to suggestions, 'cause I know a few girls in our Potions class who have expressed interest!"
Remus made a disdained noise like a ruffled diricawl and puffed up. As a way to distract himself, Remus busied himself with stripping off his gloves before looking over to Sirius who was laughing into his cup of juice. He frowned and wrinkled his nose.
"Would you stop laughing and help me out, Padfoot!"
Sirius sat his cup down and leaned around Remus to get a good look at James. "Yeah, Moony can be kinda shy. You have any suggestions, Prongsie?"
Remus made a strangled squawk of surprise. "You complete-!"
"Yes, yes," Sirius waved him off and glanced over to Peter with a mischievous smirk. He dissolved into laughter. "But where do we even start? I know you like brunettes."
Remus's face flushed a shade of red that could rival Gryffindor's house colour. Peter caught on and immediately leapt at the chance to tease him. "Going a bit red there, Moony."
"See? That's the spirit, you'll have someone special in no time!" James clapped Remus solidly on the back and nearly sent him pitching forward into his dinner plate.
Remus caught himself on the edge of the table and grimaced. "Too late-"
"Don't be so pessimistic," James chided before leaning forward like an eleven-year-old girl excited to discuss crushes at a sleepover. "Okay, so brunettes-"
