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"Our birthday is coming up are you excited"Kadeem repeated several times but my eyes stay glued to the news of the body they found, a woman, a boy, and an old lady, I just realize how poor the environment I lived in looked, the old zink fence, board gate and stray dogs running around, hungry.
Their death didn't affect me, shocked? no surprised? no confused? very.
"Not celebrating it Kadeem can you leave my room I want to be alone," I said gently as possible.
He frowns saying"What? what you mean not celebrating it Sis a we first birthday together a wah happen".
I wept, "Just leave me alone go!"I yell letting my socked feet touch the ground I realize he didn't move so I pushed him a closed the door.
Why do I feel miserable?
I'm with my family I'm content I should just forgive Stef and how she humiliated me in the community that Sunday, I never celebrated it since so I almost forgot I was born.
Flashback to Kahdeja at 14
The goodies at church in the evening always caused a crowded area in the pastor's house next door so I didn't rush I always wait, even though it was my birthday.
Stef's mom bought a pretty dress for me, purple socks to go with it and a pair of black heels 2nd hand, of course, I am used to it so I always show appreciation, no matter how little.
Today, a former member of the church that returned donated a bus to the church, so people who couldn't get a taxi, or have to walk home can feel comfortable leaving.
The candy finished and Stef said it was time to go, I sadly glanced at Calvin with hands full of sweets and he didn't think to share with his sister.
Good thing I'm not a fan of sweets, later on, he will be crying because of toothache. So I bypass that and stand in line waiting to go inside the new transport.
Stef, Calvin, and mama went inside and more people crowd to go inside so I eased back not wanting anyone to push me to the floor.
"Stef the bus is full!" I screamed over the Christian song and drums beating in the church by a foolish teenage boy.
As always I was ignored and she pretend to talk to a lady from the community.
I sobbed feeling so alone, the bus drove off, and I wipe my eyes and follow the tracks.
"Happy Birthday Kahdeja I love you, I promise you next year's birthday will be better, they just forgot again no big deal"I whispered to myself.
...
As I made my way to try and cross the road a pro box taxi drove in the pothole filled with water from overnight rain drenching my head to my feet.
"Pussyole yuh no see yuh wet up the likkle girl"A mad man Jego yelled at the taxi, he is not so mad to me he full a sense, just really poor and isolated.
