Pink Clouds & Paradise

Chapter 4 | Rule #51,081

Narrator: I still can't believe them niggahs had all that mouth but were scared when Murda stepped to them. They didn't get the memo that Murda was gonna paint the city red, green, and pink for his niggah. Anyways, Murda is in the stu finishing up the beaucoup music he's been cooking up but this is the first time he brings the love of his life with him, Cliff. He always wants Cliff's opinion on everything ever since he came into the kitchen for her to listen to Mine. I wonder what the new music Murda is making will sound like because Sit On My Lap, Seven Pounds of Pressure and his feature with Tina Snow Get It On The Floor are real hits right now.

Cliff's POV
We're in the stu, aka DJ Neva Scared's mama basement, and it's me, Marques, Woody, and DJ Neva Scared. DJ Neva Scared was letting Marques listen to different beats to see which best fit the new music Marques had been making. I was just chilling on the couch scrolling through my Instagram news feed because what else was I supposed to do? Once they were done, Marques asked DJ Neva Scared "aye DaQuan, play each song so Cliff can listen and give me her opinion." DJ Neva Scared pushed some buttons and one of the songs starts. Marques came over to the couch and made me come over and sit in a chair close to the mixer so we can listen together. He played each song and I loved all of them.

Marques has grown musically and his pen game is harder than ever. I thought that it wasn't no more songs to be played so I went back to using my phone and Marques grab my hand. "hold up shawty it's one mo song left for you to listen to" as he smiled and leaned over to kiss me. I noticed before this last song was about to come on he kept rubbing my thigh. I put my hand on top of his to calm his nerves. "what's wrong? are you okay?" he nodded his head while smiling. "I'm just eager for you to listen to this song shawty, that's all" when he said that, I started wondering why would he be nervous for me to listen to this last song. The song started playing and I instantly felt butterflies because I knew exactly what this song was about us.

The song continues and I start to hear my voice in the background as he continues rapping. The song ends with a recorded conversation of Marques talking about me. "oooo.. uhm Cliff like hitting seven thrice against the wall on a Sat'day night, like funnel cake once a year at the fur, like an eclipse..." I started crying a little, Marques hugged me and wiped my tears. DJ Neva Scared and Woody nodded their heads in approval of the song too. "this album finna hit different Murda" Woody and DJ Neva Scared started hitting Marques' leg with the biggest smile on their faces. "you already know. we let that 808 marinate them beat nice" after doing the last-minute touches to the songs, Marques and I left and decided we should stop to get something to eat before going home.

Out of all the food places in Chucalissa, he pulls up to Hot Wing Castle where you gone always bump into everybody and their mamas. I'm hoping that's not the case though. I look over at him with the "are you serious" face and he just laughs. "come on Cliff" I guess he remembers the conversation we had in my office a while back about coming here. We walk in and the waitress seats us in a booth. "hello, welcome to Hot Wing Castle. I'll be right with you in just a second" she walks away and we looked at the menu to see what we wanted but I'm pretty sure we'll get some lemon pepper wet wings with fries and a drink. She came back and took our order and sent it back to the kitchen.

"so the street has been whispering and I heard about this lil performance you did at the club" Murda starts laughing and my face looked shocked because who the hell snitched? "I don't know what they talking about but they lying". I was smirking and he looked at me like he knew I was lying so I couldn't help but laugh. "okay dammit I did. them heiffas wasn't popping shit so I had to show them how it's done, Marques" he just shakes his head at me and laugh a little bit. "I don't mind you doing that but if I see a niggah try to reach and touch you.... I'll hate to kill a niggah about you and we both know this" I laughed a little bit even though I know how he is about me. "bwoy nobody ain't that stupid plus why would niggas be coming to the club to watch me perform?— Cliff, don't be stupid. how do you think we are together right now? when we bumped into each other, I knew I wasn't going to let up until you were finally mines shawty. you never know what these niggas coming to see as long as it ain't you. let them find their own Uncle Clifford because you're mu'fuckin mines" I started smiling hard and shook my head. "you ain't got nothing to worry about because I only want you Marques" he smiled too and grab my right hand and kissed it.

The waitress came out with our order and gave us our food. "is there anything else y'all need or would like?" we shook our heads no in synonymous and she walked away but turns and comes back to our table. "I'm sorry to bother you but I have a question for you. how do you do it? how are you so confident? I'm asking because umm... you see, I'm transgender. I was born a guy but around the age of 17, I knew I wanted to become a woman. my friends and family judges me and the only person that did support me was my mom but she died a month ago. I'm just trying to build up some courage and confidence to be the woman I want to be" I was flattered to answer her question because I kind of wish I had someone to look up to when I was younger and was still tryna figure things out. "me, myself identifies non-binary but I do use the pronouns she/her. I have my own set of rules that I live by. one of the rules of mines I want you to remember is rule #51,081: "don't try to be everybody's cup of tea, cause then you won't have none to sip on for yourself." don't try to live for others but for yourself chile. that confidence will come when you start believing in yourself including your flaws and your imperfections. always stay true to yourself and don't be afraid to be the woman you want to become. this is your life to live not others. you hear me?" she wiped some of the tears that managed to drop down her face. "can I get a hug?" of course, I got up and gave her a heartwarming hug. "what's your name?— Natalie but my name use to be Nathan" I looked at her smiling. "well it was nice to meet you Natalie and I hope you continue to blossom in your journey" she walked off and continued working and I sat down and just looked at Marques as he already started eating his lemon pepper wet meal.

Even though my mother and Grandmuva accepted me as Uncle Clifford at such a young age, others didn't. I know the feeling of having to go home crying from school because kids bullied me because of how I dressed, or people looking at me disgusted, or being out in public and hearing people whisper about me. Even as an adult, I still face the same situations I've encountered in my younger years. All those situations helped me create the best version of myself and gave me the strength to live life for me and not to please others and their expectations of who I should be. "baby, could you believe that just happened? it feels good to be able to help others with coming out their shells and being who they want to be especially those young like her" I was still amazed that I couldn't eat yet because it felt so good having that conversation with Natalie. "Cliff, you are an amazing person. I'm pretty sure you have helped more people be what they want to be even if you don't know it. to be honest shawty, you and Keyshawn helped me realize who I was meant to be and who I was meant to be with for life... till death due us apart" I was a little confused by what he meant. "Marques, what do you mean?" he stopped picking up a fries and chuckles. "shawty, when I first met you, I knew we would be together before I even walk into the Paradise Room with you but I could tell that you might be a hard fish to catch. I knew that I had to sweep you off your feet for you to give me any time of day. I was confused with my feelings because I wanted you so bad but I didn't know how to love you openly like you deserved especially since people look at me as a street griot. that wasn't til Murda Night when you ended things, that opened my eyes that I could potentially lose you if I didn't change plus Keyshawn gave me advice on how to get back into your kingdom while we were on tour. then again, when I was supposed to go on tour, she advised me not to go so I can fight for the love of my life, to be with you. I don't even think I would've done the tour anyways because I knew I need to amend things and get us back like old times and look at me and you now shawty" I was shocked to know that he changed because of him wanting me which wasn't surprising but to hear him admit it was the shocker. We continued talking and eating then we went home so I can get these heiffas ready for tonight. We need all the scrilla we can get at this point especially since Lauren still only let us go up at 75% capacity and after what that Rihanna Fenty lookin' heiffa did to us, we need any scrilla we can get until we can open back at 100% capacity but I ain't tryna caught no 'Rona na.