Easy | Chaelisa

4

Lisa's POV

Waking up Lisa halfway forgot she wasn't in bed with Jennie. Instead she was being smothered by five loving fur babies. In particular, Luca and Leo were making sure they were front and center on top of Lisa. Lisa smiled and then immediately regretted her decision to take the couch. Ow. Her back was definitely going to be hurting all day today. She guessed that was karma for not swallowing her pride and pain.

Lisa stirred around all night before falling asleep after who knows how many hours. Lisa was an over thinker, she hated herself for that trait. She wished she could unsee everything from the night before and just forget about it. But she obviously would not be able to ignore the fact that her girlfriend was cheating on her. And who knows for how long now.

A bad temper and a loud mouth always got Lisa in trouble. She was surprised she didn't let those emotions take over her last night with Jennie. Her go-to is usually yelling, fighting, and flipping out when being hurt to that extent. But she didn't last night and let her passive aggressiveness take charge. She wasn't mad about it but she still could've went about it differently.

Lisa thought frequently about what she was doing wrong to Jennie. Where did she go wrong for the girl to cheat on her. Why wouldn't she just break up with her? Lisa couldn't stop her thoughts after being awake and let them take over once more. She felt like someone incapable of giving or receiving love. She wasn't cut out for it, and Jennie was just showing her this as everyone else always does.

At this point Lisa was just feeling sorry for herself which wasn't getting her anywhere. Lisa knew she was supported and loved, by many actually. Lisa tried thinking about the good things in her life. Her family and Jisoo were the first to come to mind.

Lisa was super close with her mother and step father, and also her younger sister Onda. They were a tight knit unit growing up and Lisa was so thankful for all the love she got. Some people don't even have families. And some people's families would never grow to accept their children if they turned out different.

The girl could remember coming out to her family at dinner one night years ago. Lisa was only in middle school when she knew she liked girls. Her family was beyond supportive and never shunned her. They accepted her and pushed her to be more open and comfortable in her skin. Her mother would even try to set her up with girls in her teenage years. She was destined to making sure Lisa felt as normal as possible.

But when things like this happened, Lisa forgets about all the good in her life. How could she remember those things though with a dark cloud overhead? Lisa's never been cheated on before, but now she knows what it feels like and she's completely broken inside. She didn't feel the same as she did a day ago, and she was thinking it would always be this way from here on out.

Unloveable. Unliked. Failure. Worthless. Ugly. That's how Lisa saw herself.

Compared to her normal thoughts of confident, powerful, beautiful, intelligent, strong, and brave.

That wasn't Lisa anymore. It was someone she used to know, and she's not even being dramatic. She felt this all throughout her bones and heart. She knew this is how it would have to be.

Never would she open her heart up to anyone again. Never would she trust someone again. Everyone lies. Lisa scoffed aloud.

Luca then climbed up Lisa even more and planted his wet nose against her salty lips from silent crying. She pegged him and smiled softly.

Lisa grabbed her phone and decided to try and follow through with the plan she constructed last night. In order for it to work she would need Jisoo on board.