The Law of Attraction | Vol I

Clear Cut.

Everything was changing so fast, even my lawyers were asking if it was really what I wanted to do.  They stressed we had only been separated for a week, and that filings were publicly accessible documents. My management stressing about the effect our relationship would have on my career, as people love to pick sides. Entertainment is usually watching people do something you wish you could, or something you would never want to happen to you, that's was Tisha always said. That's how it felt too, seeing story after story coming out about the OVO Power couple coming to a hot fiery end. Speculative blogs theories varied from Aubrey having a yet another secret baby on the way, me having a secret affair with Kyle, to us actually being in an open relationship the whole time, and we just got married to make our parents more accepting of us. That was a separate story, our parents all having some sort of dramatic relationship rumour about them must of been strange, given their business was made public because of our statuses.

Social media made everything feel more intense, and long lasting. The morning was a slow one, until I went live for the first time since our separation having seen and received so much love and well wishes. It was fun just answering questions about my daughter, her birthday, and projects I was working on.
" Amara, I am working on the second album artwork now... I'll contact you... I love your art so that would be a good idea" a fan was jokingly asking me to use her art, and after looking at her work I wanted to as it would match the moodiness of the sophomore record.
There were so many messages about Drake, skipped but read and it showed as I wound up the stream.
" damn... all these questions and none of them are about me..."
" the new album is a mix of amazing producers but
40 mixes all my shit..."
" the track list is coming... see you guys soon... oh and I'm dropping a story time soon... just gotta wait for legal reasons but real soon! love you guys"

I just knew he was drunk somewhere, laying with someone that wasn't his wife. I wasn't aware he was watching every single thing I did, had people watching me too. He knew it wasn't our divorce holding up my new post to YouTube, and I was nervous about a truth I had been concealing coming to light after all this time. Aubrey's mum and mine were back and fourth between us, but he and I weren't talking until that day. I noticed a compliment from a mutual friend on my first post in a fortnight, a video of me in a tight black Tom Ford dress, thin and high YSL heels, my hair straight as sinless sobriety. Soft glam, with big red lips and airbrushed long rose and red acrylics. It was for an exclusive interview I had coming out, and was clipped to me saying
" My husband doesn't even know about that... but it happened. It's going to come out in court but he doesn't know" and the blogs went crazy speculating I had cheated on him. It wasn't just because it was a rough patch, it was like we both wanted to move on. The question was one I was struggling to answer myself and when I tried to it wasn't something I found easy.

Keisha and I weren't on the best terms, and it got worse with the divorce. She barely called to see how I was, and said she had a newborn didn't have time for my drama as she had her own baby father to face. The last time we spoke, was more of warning. We were arguing about her baby, and the fact she was with more than 3 people when she fell pregnant so wasn't sure.
" why you ain't tell my brother!"
" because Ly... if I tell Chubbs he's going to leave me" we fell out over the situation, as I was blindly following my friends emotions.
" he already has! He was never with you and you both said that"
" look... I know your stressed about this divorce but that's not my fault!"
" what you talking about Keisha!"
" your man was acting loyal... I knew bae had a wife so don't I don't play the victim... you knew exactly what type of man your "husband" is... well you will!"
" my husband was"
" he is! And he was a cheater, a liar... like I told you... most are... especially if he thinks you are" she wasn't a fan of him when the stories came out, and was openly team Kyle. I think she liked how normal he kept me, grounded and familiar to our childhood friendship. With time she recognised it was more than just lust like I felt for Kyle, despite the fact he gave me what was his version of love. I couldn't settle for it because my soul was thirsty for reciprocated sentiments, love languages spoken fluently even when silently. Knew me beyond a friendship, we were each others therapist and she recognised his effect on my career and I. The conversation was on terms of longevity now, beyond me gossiping about a late night and later regretted link up, like with Kyle.