The Law of Attraction | Vol I

Trial & Error.

We were let out for an hour lunch break, I made it my business to check in on our daughter. I was used to spending my days writing, cuddled up with baby girl, and working on kid friendly recipes. Now more than ever, I was focused on her as her dad sat and spoke with my somewhat shell shocked mum. I was watching,  as she was taking a nap, with her Nannie back at the house.
" she's so peaceful"
" she's been missing you, and her Dada" I was smiling before I told her I wanted a call back once she woke up.

My dad was awkwardly posted in the other corner of the room, just angrily stewing in his emotions. Thinking about all the things he wanted to do to Jaxon, Jordan, and who ever signed up to be his witnesses. He didn't talk about much the whole three days, the whole investigation in fact. The most was when he called me in New York, and I knew he was heavily invested in ensuring Keisha testified, finding out he gifted her a big balance for her birthday the following year.
" you okay dad?"
" yeah... are you? How are you feeling"
" just tired but I'm okay-"
" you look, well"
" well... I've gained weight, I know?"
" you been relaxing baby!" He laughed, as did I and Aubrey was staring back at me when I stopped. He looked like he was annoyed with me, acting like I wasn't pregnant with his soon to be child.
" I'm proud of you, this guy is a psycho! I can't believe anyone will be his witness"
" I think it's Kyle,... it's someone who knows both of us..."
" well... I'll be talking to him if it is"
" why! He's not important"

" Ly, can I talk to you for a second-" my husband was scolding back at me, as he paced himself and patted the seat next to him.
" okay...we can talk"
" come and sit down, please" I sat down, turning towards him as I tried to make sure my stomach wasn't exposed.
" what's up..."
" I know this a lot right now...and , I need you to listen"
" I'm listening"
" I, uh... I spoke to Adam" I felt sick, ashamed I went beyond friendship with him , and was low enough to turn a good friend into a foe.
" I don't want to do this now-"
" he fucked up... knowing you was vulnerable, and was supposed to be a friend"
" Aubrey, it's not like that-"
" I know you never..., I know."
" okay,"
" so, I want to say I'm sorry... for putting you in a position to feel talking to him was needed... for creating the need to get back... I get it"
" I didn't try to get with him"
" he told me, he came at you... that's why I have smoke for him"

Adam was a good friend and source of support when the stories of our separation started. By friend, I meant that until the messages turned into bouquets, and those turned into gifts, and expenses. He was trying to fill my husbands shoes and too quickly, plus he never could. It felt familiar, but just not quite it. I never could let myself feel more than friendship, confused that for potential chemistry after a few dates, a few glasses of champagne.
The morning after our kisses I would feel sick, but guilty as I knew his feelings were growing. Not knowing our baby was also growing inside of me, and about to open my eyes to reality. Looking back I wasn't sure if it was early morning sickness or just my body and heart repelling my husband's unintentional understudy.

" just leave it alone Aubrey,... it's over, it never even started really"
" he told me he furnished your house!?"
" yeah-"
" why? You could have done that yourself, you have access to the account still"
" look... he was trying to gain my trust and"
" and nothing! He should of just left my wife alone- but a lot of people will see"
" see what... it was me too!"
" oh, I know that"
" so you're gonna punish me too?"
" no! we gotta focus on these kids"
" so leave it alone!" He looked away as I asked him again, trying to get him to confirm he would drop it. My hand holding his face before he pushed my fingers away.
" Aubrey?"
" I hear you" he was looking back at me now, cold and dead as he seemingly peered through my entire soul.
" promise me?"
" I said, I heard you...,Lylee..." I backed off, as his slow and deep voice paired with his tense body language told me too. It was set it concrete now, his heart heart set on that good old get-back and I wondered how he would forgive me for how I reacted to him.
" I just wish this wasn't happening... I wish I never met him at school "
" shhh... I know, but listen to me..." he took his arm and placed it around me, whispering into my ear.
"once this baby is born ... we can continue with the divorce, if that's still what you want" I contemplated, as he did too... wondering if there was way to make me stay beyond our kids. He was also hoping his affairs didn't break my heart apart so much there was no room to fix us.
" I just want to be able to trust you and... I don't feel like I can fully"
" well... let me show you, you can"
" but can I?"
" of course... just... just let me earn it, earn it back... I'm willing to do whatever you need me to... everything I should have done before we separated."
" Uh, Aubrey... why you doing this!" I was balling now as he held me and my parents watched in both awe and horror. Our lunch arriving as we talked and we're made to eat by mum.