Off The GridIron

Chapter 28: Alone

Monday December 16th, 1991

11:45am

Kelvin

"You know what man I still can't believe you're gone. It's not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. Why do you have to be you man? Why!!!" I said as I sat beside Jamal's grave. "For the first time in a long time I really feel alone. My heart's broken, my soul feels empty, I feel like I lost a brother. I'm definitely going to miss you man and I'm going to keep you in my heart, always." I got up and left the cemetery and stumbled over to my car. Now I know I shouldn't be driving and all with the way I'm feeling. I probably have had one too many drinks. I need to get my mind right. I want to get revenge so bad on the people that took Jamal away from me but I know if I do that I am going to end up right back in the same place I was at before or worse this time I could probably end up going to jail for life. I honestly don't know what to do, or who to even call. I want to call Willie but I don't want to bother him with my problems. Life affects us in all types of ways. The most important thing is how we bounce back from it. I decided to get back out of my car. I really was in a bad way, I got into my back seat and just lay down for a while to try to shake this feeling. I closed my eyes for what felt like a few hours and the next thing I know I heard a knock on my window.

"Yo you have to move your car man."

"What..... What's going on?"

"You have to move your car or I'm going to have to issue you a citation and have someone tow it. Now come on and move the car now!!"

"Look officer I'm going through a lot right now I just need....I just need some rest."

"Are you drunk?"

"I'm tired right now. I don't need you hassling me!"

"All right, step out the car. Get out of the car now!"

I couldn't believe this. I got up and got out of the car.

"Either you move your car now, I'm giving you one more chance, move the car now or you're going to jail, you hear me?"

"Look, officer, I don't want any trouble but I'm trying to tell you..."

"And I'm telling you to move the car." I had no choice but to move the car because I knew how the situation could have played out and I did not want to be the next Rodney King. I can't believe an officer was telling me to get behind the wheel even though he had a pretty good idea of me being drunk.

"You know what officer I'm not going to move my car, you're just going to have to arrest me. And you know what I will admit that I am drunk but do you know why I'm drunk?"

"Does it really look like I give a damn?"

"No but I'm going to tell you anyway. I had to bury my best friend after he was shot and killed outside of a club and I just left the cemetery after paying my respect to him again. I lost somebody close to me I lost somebody that was like a brother to me and you may not know what that's like but let me tell you something, the way you're treating me right now there is a such thing called karma and one day you may be in this position where somebody treats you this exact same way. Now go ahead and arrest me because I feel like I have nothing to lose." I said as I got in the officer's face.

"Just get on out here you Street punk."

"Gladly, Officer Gutierrez." I said, looking at his badge. I gave him the most evil look that I could give him, then I got in my car and I went ahead and drove home even though I was somewhat plastered. I am surprised I wasn't swerving in and out of traffic. But I'm definitely going to file a complaint against that officer.

I got home around 12:10 p.m. and as soon as I walked through that door I called the police department and I filed a complaint against the officer. After that I went and ran myself a hot bath. I sat in there for a good 30 minutes and then I got out. Then I went ahead and went to sleep.

5:30pm

Willie

"So how's things between you and Chris been going?" I asked Leon as we were shooting hoops.

"Things have been good and we just been taking things one day at a time seeing where things go in all honesty this whole situation between us is still pretty new so we're just going to see where it goes. But either way our friendship and bond is super strong. So how's things between you and Kelvin going?"

"Honestly brotha a bit rocky. We'll talk for a while and send letters back and forth and then It'll be radio silence on our end for weeks, maybe a month or two I would say. I know he's going through a lot since he lost his best friend so I've just been giving him a bit of space."

"Well like you said, take things one day at a time. Things will work out." He said as we continued playing ball. "Oh watch out, look at me! Three pointer, Jordan!!!" He said as he shot a 3 pointer and it went in the hoop.

"Well damn nigga you bragging ain't you?" I said.

"Well when you have Superior athletic skills you have bragging rights." We both busted out laughing.

Yeah dude whatever! I said laughing.

"Why are you mad though? You're mad because you're shooting bricks like Shaquille O'Neal?" Leon continued laughing, I gave him the side eye.

"See dude, why you gotta go there?"

"It's all jokes here brotha, for real. You know I have nothing but love for you."

"True but you still ain't gotta clown me like that." I said laughing. "Anyway, have you heard from Junior lately?" I asked him.

"Not really, he's been pretty busy at the furniture store. Plus he has a child and he's just living life. But we talked last month, he asked about you and Kelvin though."

"I appreciate that, he's always been really laid back and cool. But i don't know how things are going to go between me and him, we've been becoming more and more distant. I mean i'ma always have love for him but i just don't think i'm in love with him anymore." I honestly said.

"Wait what?"

"I mean I am but it's just.....we're in our senior year, distance is just becoming a bit much as well as work, then football season starts soon, we have games between each other later on this month, then another game in February, before the championship game in March."

"Well I mean what's that got to do with anything?"

"Well Leon I mean other than that we won't be seeing much of each other, and then i don't know how things will go afterwards, and then with us getting ready to go off to college, I mean.... I just don't know."

"True but you never really know until you've experienced things, just give it time and see what happens, and if in a few weeks things still feel the same then it might be time to take a break." Leon said.

"Yeah you're right. Anyway, let's play a bit more." I said, I just needed to take my mind off of things

We played for a few more hours then around 8:00pm or so i drove back to my place over on Redbeam Avenue from Darien Street. With traffic and all it was something. I got back home around 8:20pm. I thought about everything on my way back home. I didn't know what to think or even do next, but I knew I had to talk to Kelvin one way or another. As soon as i pulled into my driveway I went into the house and got myself situated and thought about things. After about 25 minutes or so around 8:45pm I went and called Kelvin, after a few rings he answered.

"Hey Willie, what's up?"

"Hey Kelvin, I was just thinking about you. We need to talk....."

End Of Chapter 28