Backlash Part 2

Chapter 242: Lanling - Lan Wangji

Lan Wangji was disturbed from his meditation by the sound of something hitting the floor. In a blink he was standing with Bichen drawn, eyes searching for danger. He found Wei Ying, fallen from the bed but still tangled in the blanket, in a heap clutching the chamber pot and heaving into it. The sharp squeeze of his heart in response to Wei Ying's clear distress was a familiar pain. Lan Wangji searched the room carefully. It was unlikely there was an intruder, the answer to what disturbed his meditation clear, but Lan Wangji could not allow himself to turn his focus entirely to Wei Ying without ensuring the safety of their surroundings. Only once he confirmed with his senses full that there were no dangers in their space, only then did he sheath Bichen and crouch beside his love.

"Wei Ying," he whispered softly. A reassurance that he was there. A question about what was needed, what was wrong.

Wei Ying made a small sound of acknowledgement as he gasped for breath between heaves. Lan Wangji took it as permission and began to carefully pull back Wei Ying's hair. Wei Ying's hair had previously been braided loosely for sleep. Lan Wangji retrieved the ribbon where it was now more tangled in Wei Ying's hair rather than holding it. Gently, Lan Wangji finger combed the tangled strands, loosely weaving them together once more before tying them off with the ribbon. Wei Ying seemed to have calmed somewhat. Lan Wangji rubbed gentle circles into his back as he coughed.

"Fuck," Wei Ying breathed out on an exhausted sigh. With great effort he leveraged himself up enough to lean backwards against the bed. Lan Wangji took this as a sign that he was done being sick, at least for the moment. He set the water to heat, having grown cold during the night. At which point Lan Wangji realized that if he was heating water he might as well prepare another cup of ginger tea. It would at least help with settling Wei Ying's stomach.

Lan Wangji returned first with a wet cloth so Wei Ying could clean his face. Once the tea was prepared Lan Wangji had Wei Ying sip it slowly. Too fast might upset his stomach. Lan Wangji ached with the need to make things better. He focused on these small steps, until Wei Ying was able to tell him more. Some minutes later, Wei Ying pushed it away after only a few sips. Lan Wangji internally frowned, he wished Wei Ying had been able to finish it. Still, half was better than none. Lan Wangji set the cup on the nearby table. He waited for Wei Ying to say something, but Wei Ying was eerily silent.

"Should I call for Wei Qing?" Lan Wangji inquired. Wei Ying immediately shook his, then stopped, grimacing and taking slow deliberate breaths.

"No. It's not... It's not a health thing. Just... a bad dream." Wei Ying said haltingly. Lan Wangji wasn't certain what his face was doing, but Wei Ying laughed bitterly when he caught sight of it. "I know, I should be a professional at dealing with those by now."

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji said in gentle reproval. He was about to say more. Something to remind Wei Ying that he was a good person, that it was okay to struggle. Before Lan Wangji had finished formulating exactly what he would say, Wei Ying spoke.

"Jiang Cheng didn't die in my last life." Wei Ying said quietly. Lan Wangji's half formed words evaporated. "Lan Zhan, he didn't die in my last life." Wie Ying's voice rose. "What am I doing?! I was trying to make things better. I couldn't save their parents, but I thought I could save Shijie. Jiang Cheng would still have his sister even if his parents were gone. And Shijie is alive, but was this the cost? Did I trade Jiang Cheng's life for Shijie's?! I'm happy she's alive. I'm so happy she's alive and I hate myself for it. What right did I have to trade Jiang Cheng's life for hers? Just because he was angry with me? Because we weren't as close anymore? He wasn't supposed to die!" Wei Ying sobbed and screamed.

Lan Wangji tried to pull Wei Ying into his arms, desperate to soothe the heart wrenching sobs. Wei Ying shoved him away.

"Don't touch me!" Wei Ying shouted. Then went so far as to scoot across the floor, creating space between them.