Good to You [Eddie Munson x OFC]

Chapter Twenty

Eddie and I had found ourselves stargazing again. This time we just laid out in a vacant spot in the trailer park, a little ways away from his trailer. He had spread out a blanket for us to lay on. Stargazing had become a weekly thing for us because he knew how much I loved it and he was so fascinated by all the stars in the sky and the fact that each cluster of them had a name and a story. It felt nice to just lay here with Eddie and look up at the vast sky that stretched across our small hometown. Looking out at the stars made me feel like there really was more to life than Hawkins, Indiana. The world was an expanse of adventure just waiting for me to find it.

"Okay, wait. Which one is that one there?" Eddie pointed up at the sky.

"Cygnus," I replied. "The swan."

"Okay, okay." Eddie nodded, the wheels in his head turning as he strained to remember the name. "And what's his story?"

I let out a big sigh. "Well that's complicated since there are a lot of different stories surrounding Cygnus depending on who you ask."

Eddie dropped his head to the side to look at me. "Well, tell me your favorite one." He smiled.

I looked over at him as well, smiling to myself thinking about how wild the story of Cygnus was. "Have you heard of the Greek myth of Leda and the swan?"

Eddie looked at me with furrowed brows and I laughed. "Of course you haven't. Well, Leda was a queen of Sparta. She gave birth to two sets of twins, one set was mortal and the other was immortal. Now get this," I said as an aside as if I was about to drop some juicy gossip. "The immortal set of twins were the children of Zeus who had transformed himself into a swan and seduced Leda."

"As a swan?!" Eddie's mouth dropped open. "Cas, you've told me some Greek myth stories before but this has to be the weirdest by far."

I started to laugh. "You're the one who asked me to tell you the story!"

"I know..." Eddie mumbled and looked back up at the sky. We both grew quiet as our eyes searched the sky some more. The realization that I was leaving soon was starting to hit me. I didn't want to leave Eddie behind but I had to leave Hawkins. I wanted to see what there was out in the world beyond the enclosed space that was my hometown.

"I can't believe I'm leaving in a couple weeks." I finally spoke, breaking the silence between us.

"Leaving? What do you mean, leaving?" Eddie asked, propping himself up onto his elbows.

"I'm... I'm going to school. I thought you knew that." I said, copying him and also propping myself up onto my elbows. Eddie remained unusually quiet and I started to feel like something wasn't right. "Eddie, talk to me. What's going on?" I persisted.

"I guess I just didn't realize this was coming to an end." He said softly, rising to his feet and turning his back to me.

I stood as well, reached out and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him back to face me. "What are you talking about? I never said that I wanted this to be over. I'm just going away to school." I tried to reason with him. I couldn't understand why he was getting all weird about this. Did he really think that because I was going away to school meant I wanted nothing to do with him? What was his problem?

"I don't know..." Eddie trailed off. I could see that his mind was starting to shut down and he was putting up a wall with me. It was exactly what I did, too, when I was upset.

"What did you think I was going to do, Eddie? Sit around here in Hawkins for the rest of my life with you and amount to nothing?" I realized as soon as the words left my mouth exactly what I just said to him. I took a step backward wishing that I could step right into a black hole and disappear. I started to wonder if I really thought that or if I was letting Billy's words eat away at me. He had said exactly that to me in the fight we had at work. Would Eddie hold me back here in Hawkins? Did he have big dreams and aspirations like I did? Did he have the motivation to just get up and leave the same way I wanted to? I searched his face for the answers but all I found was hurt. I swore to myself I'd never hurt anyone the way I'd been hurt, but I just did.

"Shit, Cas. You're turning into the exact type of person you hate. The ones who try to hold you down." His voice grew louder as his anger started to rise. "You really think I'm never going to amount to anything? You really think I want to be stuck here in Hawkins, too? Is that really how you see me? Just like everyone else sees me?"

I'd never seen Eddie get angry before and it was starting to scare me. I held my hands up in defense. "No, Eddie, of course not. That's not what I'm saying but-"

"No, that's exactly what you're saying." His voice was low but heavy with resentment. "You think that because I don't want you to leave me means I want you to be stuck here forever. It's not like that. You don't get it. You're the one who told me to follow my dreams and now you're saying you don't think I even have any."

"You're being selfish, Eddie. What is it about me going away to school that is getting you all upset? I've never seen you act like this." I admit I had an accusatory tone to my voice which probably made things worse. I just couldn't see where all this was coming from. Why was this such a big deal?

"God, Cas. Are you even listening to me? You didn't think to tell me, I don't know, two months ago that you were leaving? You decide to tell me two weeks before you leave and expect me to be okay? Why are you being like this? You know how it feels to have someone just up and leave you. Maybe consider the fact that all I've ever known in life is being abandoned, and you're doing exactly that." Eddie accused me back.

"Are you kidding right now?" I was in disbelief at his words. "I thought you knew! And I'm not abandoning you. I'm following my dreams."

Eddie shook his head. "Fine, Cas. Go follow your dreams. But don't expect me to be in them."

"Eddie..." I reached for him as he walked away from me. I never expected him to react this way. Did he really think I was just going to stay in Hawkins with him forever? "Eddie, please..." I trailed off as my hand began to fall back to my side as he continued to walk away. My heart felt like it was about to break into a million pieces. "I love you..." I whimpered even though I knew Eddie couldn't hear me.

I could feel anger and sadness fighting in my mind, trying to see which one would dominate and take control. I felt like the devil and God were raging inside me. "Fuck!" I screamed as I assaulted the ground with my foot and kicked up a patch of grass. Did I just lose the one person in my life who made me feel whole again? I could feel my breathing grow labored as I heaved from the tears that began to stream down my face. I slowly reached down and picked up the blanket, bundling it up in my arms, and began my lonely walk back to my car. I figured I should just get out of here now. What was the point in staying? Eddie didn't want to be with me anymore.