Boss Complex

47. Ghosts of the past

Will he ever make that final move? Kyungsoo strokes Monggu's little furry head, feet up on the coffee table, all three of the fur babies snug at his hips. This will be their 8th month anniversary in terms of their first time sleeping together, but there's nothing more in their relationship. While it's true that Jongin practically lives at his house still, coming home to him every single night, here Kyungsoo is, sitting in Jongin's apartment. A painful reminder that their relationship is still a blank space with a missing value. Where his love interest should be clearly defined, it remains a variable that has no equation. On nights when Jongin states he's heading to his apartment, Kyungsoo readily offers to come over and most of the time, Jongin allows him. But does he even want Kyungsoo there?

He has no intention of letting Jongin go after investing so much of his time into this relationship, especially since this is the one and only real relationship he's ever had. There has never been someone in his life quite like this. Girls who came and went, guys who used him, and all of those sloppy exchanges as night clubs with too much Gin but never anyone like Kim Jongin.

Bathed in moonlight, dark skin contrasting his pale skin, he feels alive when Jongin touches him between cotton sheets. With his face buried in the pillow, cheek moist on the wet fabric where his breath has moistened the bedsheet, he loves the gentle hands that touch his hips, grasp hold like they're in rhythm to a song he's deaf to and rail into him. The man that regularly stops what he's doing to come over and touch him. Sometimes just to press his fingertips to Kyungsoo's cheek, sometimes to peel away his pajamas and pleasure him without request for anything in return. And though the man adores him, treats him like gold, gives him life with his endless affectionate embraces and sweet love making, he's never gotten the words that he needs. He doesn't get those claiming words like he gets those claiming hands wrapped securely around his wrists when he strays too far in the grocery store. No words that mirror those possessive eyes he gets when he laughs too much with the landlord while waiting on the elevator.

For a long time, he thought that this was simply not something that Jongin could offer. He decided when he first let Jongin take him farther than just half dressed heavy petting that he would accept what they have for what it is. But it's been more than a year since that first kiss in the train station and there's still no sign of Jongin making that final step. And frankly, Kyungsoo was getting nervous. The more he spirals down this dark blissful rabbit hole, the more frequently he spirals this same train of thought. Because this is not the first time that he's felt this way and he somehow dreads that it won't be the last time either.

There is some movement outside of Jongin's apartment door and the pups come to life, ears perked. The passcode on the door trills and there is a chorus of yaps and barks. Jongin breaks into a full grin as he sees his babies, and then looks to Kyungsoo with a softening of his eyes.

"Hey Soo." He breathes, wrapping an arm around his neck and kissing his forehead.

Whatever thoughts had been festering disappear with that rush of cologne and soft embrace, Kyungsoo's cheeks pinkening with an embarrassed smile as their guest steps through the door.

"You brought this trash with you?" He says with a snort, stepping from Jongin's hold.

"Shut up, you know you love me."

Baekhyun leaps onto Kyungsoo with his arms and legs wrapping around his narrow body like a Koala.

"Ew, gross. Get off." Kyungsoo growls with disgust, but his arms secured tightly around his best friend's torso and they embrace for longer than is needed while puppies dance at his feet, jumping up to try to reach Baekhyun for affection. When Baekhyun's toes return to the floor, he immediately falls to his knees and spreads his arms wide.