Boss Complex

53. Hard to love

Kim Jongin slams down his empty can on the kitchen counter a little harder than necessary, trying to release the tension in his shoulders with a quick roll of the hard muscles.

"And this is why we can't watch romantic comedies, Kyungsoo, you just get way too emotional." He grits between his teeth as the man comes storming into the room behind him, literally throwing a nearly empty plastic bowl into the sink where hard unpopped corn kernels scatter against the metal like raindrops on a tin roof.

"I'm too emotional? Is that what you just said? Really? Chanyeol and Baekhyun have gone from abusive employer-employee office kink to star crossed familial love triangle to in laws separated by an ocean to reunited at last fighting to be together lovers or something. And in the meantime, you and I are still here. Still doing this, whatever this is."

Kyungsoo points to the space between them with a toss of his hands up in the air, a question that is without words punctuated by another angry outburst. "Emotional? Yeah, Jongin. I'm a little emotional right now. At the end of the day, what the hell am I to you?"

Jongin shrugs his shoulder, walking from the kitchen with a shake of his head like the conversation is too miserable to hang onto any more. He grabs his coat from the closet and starts feeling around in pockets for his wallet and keys.

"That's it?" Kyungsoo asks, following behind him with a furrowing of his brows.

He expects more slamming around, maybe more exasperation but instead Jongin looks tired, he offers a smile that is both sad and lost when he pulls his arms through the leather jacket sleeves.

"What more can I say? Rub it in my face some more. Go on. Salt my wounds, why don't you. I'm a sick bastard who's been hung up on someone who doesn't feel the same way about me for over a year now, Kyungsoo. And at every turn I feel like I get verbally accosted for not loving you enough. So what exactly do you want to hear from me? Because I'm getting nothing from you."

Kyungsoo storms over, feet landing hard on the hardwood, eyes set, lips pursed.

"That is a lie! You know damn well that I gave you head yest--"

Jongin gently pushes himself away from Kyungsoo and shakes his head.

"No, see, I'm not even talking about that. It always comes back to this with you. Sex is not enough for a relationship, Kyungsoo. Love is what makes a relationship."

He heads to the door and turns back to Kyungsoo with a pleading expression.

"Oh, right. It's my fault? Is that it? I don't show you the right kind of affection so our relationship isn't real?"

Kim Jongin with his hair casually tossed to the side shrugs once more, not in indifference but in apathy.

"No. That's not at all what I'm saying but I can't do this with you tonight, I just... Look, I'm going to go to my place." He says quietly and without offering much more to it, he leaves the house.

Kyungsoo tries to to think of things that he could have said, ways that he may have felt himself getting pulled into something more romantic and less hostile. How the hell is he supposed to tell Kim Jongin how much he cares if he doesn't have many pleasant conversations with him anymore. He reluctantly starts picking out the popcorn kernals from the kitchen wash basin, hoping that Jongin would change his mind, but unfortunately, an hour passes with nothing. He decides on a whim to call Baekhyun but his phone rings straight to voicemail, forcing Kyungsoo to be further isolated with his own thoughts. Stirred by their separation under these conditions, he starts to wonder if maybe Jongin is planning on staying away from him for the night. Maybe he would sleep at his apartment away from Kyungsoo tonight, which is weird and unusual. They live together now, the only reason he still has that place is because it's closer to work and his puppies are there where Kyungsoo's place doesn't allow animals.