Can two broken souls heal each other

Chapter 19

Vegas came back to his room, it was pretty late, he had a long discussion with Macau, which made him realize many things and also questioned his own thinking. As Vegas entered the room, silence welcomed him, he searched for pete and saw him sitting at the floor at the side of the balcony door, looking outside. He called Pete twice but didn’t get any reply, as he went near him, he found him sleeping there. Pete looked so calm and pretty. He was sitting on the floor, head leaning at the corner joint of wall and door, his bangs were over his eyes, although his eyes were closed but still those eyes were attracting him. It was a full moon day and in the moonlight Pete's face looked like an innocent baby’s face, radiating calmness, which made him look more and more beautiful in Vegas' eyes.

He sat down next to him, removed some bangs from over his eyes. ‘Pete, I know my ways are not correct, but can you please understand me, I needed you and I didn’t know any other way to keep you safe and close to me at the same time. Whatever Macau tried to tell me I absolutely understood it, but what should I do, how can I let you go knowing that, if that happens, I might not see you again. Pete, can you forgive me, please forgive me, because now I am planning on doing something which you might not appreciate but I have no other choice. So, tonight I will break my promise of not touching you, because probably after tonight I don’t know when I will get to see you or touch you.’ Vegas took Pete’s hand in his own hand and put it close to his heart. His knees were bent and Pete's hands were in between his knees and chest, tightly held by him.

Vegas closed his eyes, his heart was beating fast., but he really didn’t know whether it was because of being close to pete, holding his hand or because of the decision he made for them. But, whatever it was, for him this night was important, and he needed to be close to pete and he was literally pouring is his heart out to him, although he could see that pete was not listening to him, but he needed this, needed to express, needed to speak those words, needed to assure pete or rather himself that whatever he has decided is for the good.

 ‘I am sorry Pete, but please understand that there are only 2 people for me in this world now, Macau and YOU… I know I should not be making decisions for you both, but I have got no choice and if you’ll know you will never agree to it. Do you know pete that I am in love with you, and to be honest even I don’t know how that happened, because a guy like me can or rather should never fall in love, because I am not a person, anyone would ever want to spend their life with. It’s just that Macau is my brother, that's why he cares for me, otherwise I don’t deserve anyone’s love or care or any sort of happiness. My paa says all the time that I am incompetent, incapable, and absolutely no match for kinn, I am a burden, shame for the family and rather then making him proud, I always embarrass him. Person like me doesn't deserve anything, no happiness, no love, nothing good and I think that he is right. I don’t deserve anything good.’  

Vegas was very vulnerable at this time, he hasn’t cried in years, probably not ever after his mother’s death but today while saying these words, a drop of tear fell from his eye, which amused him as well because he thought that he was incapable of crying just as incapable of love, but pete’s existence was bring changes that he never thought of.

Vegas held Pete’s hand more tightly and pressed it more to his heart, like if it was necessary for him to hold his hand…to live, to survive…

Vegas closed his eyes, he wanted to say each and everything he has on his mind and this time, these moments seemed perfect to him, ‘Pete, honestly, I want to know what happened to you when you were young, who were those people and what exactly they did to you, so that I can hunt them and kill them with my own hand. Pete, I want to know why you did to yourself what you did, because it really pains me to see these marks over your body, it makes my blood boil, it makes me angry…so-so angry that I could kill this whole world.’ There was lot of anger in Vegas’s voice and then suddenly it changed to sadness, ‘please Pete please I request you don’t ever do this to yourself again, because seeing you in pain kills me every time, that day when I saw you hurting yourself, it pierced my heart, I felt like someone stabbed me with a knife in my heart. It was unbearable for me to see you like that. It made me feel so much that I never thought of feeling. It also makes me feel emotions for you, emotions I used to hate, emotions I am scared of, emotion of love, care and attachment.  For me love, care, attachment was nothing but a nonsense emotion fools believe in, but I don’t know how and when I, myself became that fool FOR YOU.’

Vegas was tired, his heart was heavy, he was crying unknowingly, and his tears were falling on the hands of Pete, held tightly and close to his heart. ‘Pete, I know I broke my promise of not touching you without your permission, but can I break it just once more again, can I put my head over your shoulder, I am too tired.’ And by this he puts his head over Pete's shoulder.

They were sitting in moonlight with vegas leaning on pete’s shoulder, his eyes were closed, tears were still coming out now and then and last he said to the guy he has fallen head over heels, madly, crazily in love that, ‘Pete, I LOVE YOU, and I have never loved anyone like this, and I know that I can’t love anyone ever again. I LOVE YOU and WILL ALWAYS LOVE, and Pete honestly, I don’t expect you to love me back, but can you just not hate me like the whole world, like the major family, like my own father. Just…just don’t hate me and it will be enough for me to live for the rest of my life.’ And slowly Vegas fell asleep on Pete's shoulder.

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Sorry for the short update, I will post the long chapter soon. Thank you so much for reading and showing me you love.