FO4 | Book 0: The Diaries of Anarchy ✔️

March 18, 2254

I had been workin' for the old man for a little over a week, and I found that it was a pretty easy job. His name was Jack, and he seemed to be an okay kinda guy. He wasn't pushy, he wasn't loud, and he wasn't very bossy. He handed me letters and packages that needed to be delivered to citizens throughout the city, and I delivered them as fast as I could, hopin' to get a sweet tip.

"Why, I've never seen anybody deliver as fast as you, my boy," he'd say. "Keep up the good work."

I delivered packages to both upper stands and field citizens. Everyone needed mail at some point. There were a few packages that were so heavy, I couldn't carry them without sitting them down and taking a lot of breaks. I soon found out that most of the heavier packages like that were shipments that went to the vendors here in the city.

I didn't make as much money as I thought I would. If I delivered six letters and three packages, for example, I'd only make twenty-four caps. If I got lucky, someone would throw in a tip that I could add to the sum. Guy, on the other hand, would make a guaranteed forty caps a day after an eight-hour shift with the mechanic. 

Today was our first time buying our own clothes. We had saved enough in the last few days to buy a shirt, some pants, and some shoes. We went to Fallon's Basement — a small downstairs shop in town — and talked to the couple that ran the place.

Charlie and Becky Fallon were a pretty hospital bunch as far as shopkeeps went. They helped us find what we were lookin' for and showed us to some changin' rooms.

Guy walked out with a new pair of slacks, a blue button-up shirt with sleeves rolled quarter length, and a pair of dress shoes. I had been waitin' on him outside the door wearin' a black t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and work boots.

"The hell are you all dressed up for, Mr. Mechanic?"

He waved a bag in front of my face. "I have a pair of work clothes right here."

Embarrassed, I shut my trap and crossed my arms.

"You only had enough for one pair of clothes?" he asked.

"Yeah, well, some of us have to work harder for our money."

He just chuckled and ruffled my hair.

"Hey! Don't do that, I'm not a kid."

"Actually, I was just thinking about how much you've grown up in the last month. You're doing a good job. Keep it up, John."

I shot him a smirk. "Shut up, don't get all sappy on me. Let's get somethin' to eat."

We went to the Dugout Inn and ordered some food. We took a seat on the couches and found a coffee table next to some other patrons. They cleared out after we were nearly done with our food.

"I'm sorry about Mom and Dad," Guy muttered. "I truly am, but... I'm not sorry that we wound up in Diamond City." Then he sighed sharply. "There, I said it."

I didn't say anything. Instead, I shoveled the rest of my food into my mouth. We hadn't talked about what happened. I was still angry, and I felt like I cared more about what happened than he did. But, if I was to voice that opinion, I'd be the bad guy.

"Diamond City is the best thing that could have happened for us. There's opportunity here. A chance at a life without digging around in the dirt for our next meal. No more traveling miles at a time on foot to get to a store that sells medicine or ammo. We can get real jobs. We can live simple, peaceful lives. We couldn't have that with Dad."

I sighed and clenched my jaw. I understood what he was sayin', but I just couldn't see it the way he did yet. I wasn't ready to have that realization. I was still hurt by our losses. I felt robbed.

"Anyway, I bet we can afford our own place soon if there are any houses available."

I shrugged. "Maybe."

____________________

That night, I sat on my sleeping bag awake while all the drifters around me snored in their sleep. My brother lay on his own bed about five feet from me, sleepin' peacefully.

I got up, shoved my hands in my pockets, and strolled through the rows of mutfruit trees. I looked up at the stars and wondered if Mom's soul was watchin' me. Nah, she couldn't have been. She was probably reincarnated or somethin'. At least that's what I wanted to believe.

I kicked at the dirt with my shoes. I was so tired of feelin' helpless. I was tired of livin' with no self-esteem. I needed dreams and aspirations, but I didn't have any. I didn't know what I wanted.

"What's wrong?" asked a voice from behind me.

I turned to see a girl maybel a few years older than me. She had long brown hair tied back in a ponytail and dark brown eyes. She wore a tank top and capris and had a sun-kissed complexion.

I had said hello to this girl once or twice during the last month that we found ourselves sleeping in squatter territory. She seemed nice enough. She lived over here with her grandma, who was hard of hearin' and moved at a snail's pace.

"I dunno," I answered subtly.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really. I... don't know you."

She laughed quietly. "My name's Emily. What's your name?"

"John."

"Nice to meet you, John." She held out her hand to me.

I took her hand and we shook on it.

"There, now we're not strangers. Do you want to talk about it now?"

"Heh. Well, I was just thinking... My brother knows exactly what he wants and who he wants to be in this world. And me? I don't know anything. Maybe I really am still just a dumb kid."

She pursed her lips and laced her fingers together. I followed her gaze toward the stars.

"I don't think you're a dumb kid. I think you've still got a lot to learn, but you're not dumb. Especially if you're asking yourself questions like these." She returned her attention to me. "So, what are you doing here in Diamond City?"

"Oh, my parents were killed... Our home was burned down... We abandoned our farm and came out here."

"I'm sorry to hear that. My family was attacked by raiders, too. They were ransacking our little community, and my father and grandfather stayed behind to fight them off. They didn't make it. Me and Gran managed to get away, but..." She looked behind her at the shed where her grandmother lie asleep. "... I don't think she's going to live much longer. She's sick and the heartbreak is too much for her."

"So, you'll be... all alone?"

She nodded.

A hatred started to plant itself inside me, and it grew and grew in the pit of my stomach. "Those damned raiders. They think they can take whatever they want and kill whoever gets in their way. It's... it's bullshit!"

She patted my shoulder. "That's just the way of the world. It's kill or be killed out here."

"I don't believe that! I want it to change. I want people like the raiders to be the ones face down in the dirt, not people like us! Not the people out here just tryin' to survive!"

She gave me a smirk. "I think you've found what you want and who you want to be, John."