A few days went by.
My wound healed completely after Daisy took care of me. She gave me another shirt from her shop stock for free. I thanked her and left the day after I sustained the injuries, glad to get out of her house because of my withdrawal symptoms.
The last two days, I stayed stoned out of my mind. I sold my shoes, my knife, and some sexual services just to afford the chems. I slept on the sidewalk during that time, eating scraps. I thought, this is it. Might as well just end it now. What better day than today?
I couldn't stand lookin' at my own reflection. I was a fuckin' coward. I let people die. I didn't even try to help. I just watched. Worse, I looked away. I always ran from everything. I didn't even care if I was runnin' from myself at this point.
Nick was right when he reminded me of what I would be leavin' behind. I shoulda conformed to the normalcy, the bigotry. At least I would have family.
Piper was right when she said I had a job to do there. I abandoned them.
Guy was right when he said that I was a disappointment and that I'd never be anything but a junkie. It's how I learned to deal with life's hardships — I couldn't quit now.
Maggie was right when she said that she was the only thing giving me purpose, the only one who had my back. The way she treated me I deserved. I wasn't gonna find much better.
I found a secluded place on a rooftop, sat down, and injected myself with the glowing green liquid. The radiation-filled drug coursed through my veins. I threw my head back in ecstasy as the strangely unique burn filled my bloodstream and lulled my brain into a colorful dance of thoughts.
My surroundings had completely changed. The fadin' blue sky turned bright white, and the settin' sun turned purple. The dead trees outside the city were wavin' at me. The distant, constant gunfire sounded like a barrage of drums. My body felt like it was floatin'.
I looked at my hands; my fingers were moving in ways that I'd never seen before, like waves on the water, though I was pretty sure I was keepin' them still. Everything below my waist started to tingle. I could feel a hard-on comin', but I was too high to give myself a handy.
The concrete rooftop moved like quicksand. My foot disappeared into it, and I started to panic before I realized it stopped at my ankle. It massaged my foot rather than ate it. I leaned my head back and looked up at the clouds that changed to the color orange and watched them form into shapes of beautiful women.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was aware that I was fucked up. For a few seconds, I contemplated how long it would take for me to die. Then that train of thought crashed as I watched literal rays of light radiate from the purple settling sun and cover the cloud girls in glittery dust that rained down on me and into my eyes.

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FO4 | Book 0: The Diaries of Anarchy ✔️
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