My Lifeline

14

"What lesson have you got now?" Will asks once I drive us back to the school parking lot. My heart sinks at the sheer sight of it. I just want to return to the field again so my heart can feel alive.

"Chemistry. How about you?"

"Physics," he informs me with a grimaced face. "My least favourite subject."

"How come?"

"I dislike the teacher."

The corners of my lips lift into a humoured smile. "I should have guessed."

Will laughs and opens the car door. "Got a bit of humour to you. That's good to know. Are you walking in?"

I stare ahead at the bland building which takes the life out of my body and completely exhausts me. Any happiness I might've felt at lunch from the help of Will has completely demolished, just like I knew would happen.

"I actually need to give my mum a call," I make up an excuse; a lie. "I'll see you later."

Will lifts his head at me before grabbing his bag. "Laters."

He's back to his normal self again. No more yelling or laughing, no more living. We're back to surviving.

My eyes are dull and emotionless as I watch him walk through the parking lot to get to the building, one strap over his shoulder, his hand stuffed in his trouser pocket.

It's surprises me he doesn't have a girlfriend. Most of the girls in this school giggle and wave at him as he passes, not because he's popular, but because they love a bad boy. I think back to Evie, the way her bright red hair is always tied into a messy bun, hoop earring dangling from her ears, eyeliner and lipliner smothering her face. She's not popular either, she's somewhere in the middle. She has a few friends, but I've noticed she's started to hang around with a new bunch of people since her and Will split up. Will's friends used to be her friends...until she slept with Charlie of course.

Will never takes any notice in the girls at our school who make effort to flirt with him in the corridors. He smiles and acknowledges them, but he never goes further than that.

I begin to grow suspicious as to why, out of everyone, he chooses to spend more time with me. Perhaps it's because he knows that I'll never flirt with him and we won't go any further than being friends...if that's even what we are.

It's all a confusing matter to me, but I'll try not to worry myself too much about it. I have bigger problems than figuring out Will Stanley's tactics and games. Like trying to survive. Trying to keep my head above water so I don't forget how to swim. I do not fear that the waves will take me one day and pull me down deep below. I only fear that it will pull my family with me.

* * *

I arrive at my Chemistry class five minutes late. Miss Fischer is a lot less strict than Mr Peters, so she doesn't call me out in front of the class to interrogate me about my whereabouts. She simply smiles and stops the class for a moment when I try to find an empty seat.

There's a table at the back that I usually sit on by myself, so I head straight there and set my bag down on the table, using it as a pillow to rest my head on.

I doodle on the blank pages of my notepad as I listen to Miss Fischer's strong Russian accent. She always has a story to tell us at the end about the adventures of her life. If I could be anyone in the world, it would be her. She's lived. Really lived. And she lives it the way she wants to, never once taking any crap from somebody else who tells her different.