My Lifeline

19

It feels like I don't belong anywhere. Not at home, not at school. There's no place in the world where I fit in. Perhaps that's why I love to read so much. No one can judge me in those books, not if I don't let them. I can make the world I'm in whatever I want it to be. My mind is finally my own. It longer feels like someone is controlling what I think. I'm my own person.

It's a shame reality can't be like that.

My feet drag me into school against my will. I stare up at the bland building that is beginning to feel more like a prison. Every time I look at it, my stomach drops.

Is this really all I'm living for?

I'm sat in my maths class early, waiting for everyone to arrive. My headphones are playing the music that Will showed me yesterday, I put it on repeat and close my eyes as the calming emotions overcome me.

I'm starting to think that music is my lifeline. Without it, I would simply cease to exist.

My entire body lights up when a familiar person strolls into the room. Without even realising it, a smile has pulled itself into my cheeks, completely ruining my emotionless image that everyone else has painted in their heads of me.

But he's different today. Something's wrong. I can immediately sense that something has happened to cause him to be in this foul mood which is ten times worse than I have ever seen on him before. His hoodie is up, hiding his luscious brown curls that always fall perfectly in front of his green eyes. Today his eyes are dark and cold, sort of intimidating. Earphones are stuffed in his ears, his hands shoved in his pockets.

He chucks his bag down beside me and drops into his seat, pulling his hoodie further over his head as he rests on the table. He doesn't bother communicating with me, he doesn't even bother looking at me.

I poke his arm, just like he's done with me countless amounts of time.

"What?" he grumbles.

"Are you okay?"

"Peachy perfect," he expresses in a sarcastic voice.

I rest my head down on the table, mirroring what he's doing. I poke him again. This time he pulls his earphones out and turns his head to look at me. The distance between us is so minuscule, I can feel his breath tickling my face.

"What's wrong?"

His eyes are red and tired.

"Everything," Will whispers back.

"What's everything?"

He shakes his head and lets out a sad chuckle. "I'm so fucking tired."

I know how you feel.

"Wanna go to my car? I can drive and you can sleep?"

Will smiles like my offer is both sweet and humorous. "I don't mean like that, smiley. Plus—" He lifts his head and motions it towards Mr Peters who has just entered the classroom. "Grumpy sod would barricade the door if we tried to leave now."

"We should make a run for it."

He laughs for the first time today and shakes his head. "That would be great, but I'm not letting you get into trouble for me."

"I wouldn't get into much trouble," I protest.

"Probably not with your other teachers, but Mr Peters is a different breed."

"Settle down!" Mr Peters bellows. He glares at the entire class for a few seconds before he pulls down the projection board.

Ryan looks back at Will and makes a face, taking the piss out of our teacher behind his back.