My Lifeline

37

Will is silent on the drive to my house. The window on his side is rolled down, and he's still holding his cigarette. There's a lighter in the same hand.

Turns out that it was never me who was close to the edge. It was Will. He was the one who fell, holding his hands out as far as they could stretch to survive...but I wasn't there to catch him like he always caught me. I didn't realise things were this bad. Will always told me to let go of my worries, he tried to help me love life. But he didn't even believe any of the stuff he told me. In the process, he was trying to tell that to himself.

He lifts the cigarette and flicks the lighter, ready to ignite it.

"Don't," I quickly stop him.

He pauses, allowing the lighter to go out without setting the cigarette.

"You don't need it," I tell him. "You've been doing so well. I know you can do it."

Slowly, he takes the cigarette out of his mouth and puts down the lighter. He chooses to hold my hand instead, rubbing the pad of his thumb against it and creating small patterns.

We don't speak for the rest of the ride. We don't need to. Simply our presence is enough to bring comfort and safety. At least, it is for me.

When we arrive at my house and set his bags down in the hallway, Ginger sets off and runs into the living room where he jumps around on the sofa.

"Shit, sorry. Do you want me to get him off?" Will asks in a panicked tone.

I laugh and shake my head. "He's fine. Mum doesn't mind dog hair...just make sure he doesn't rip it up. I'm not sure she'd be very pleased about that."

As if on cue, my mum turns around the corner and greets us both with a large smile. "Hello, you two. What a lovely surprise."

"Hi, mum...You're home early."

She checks the watch on her wrist and sighs. "I did an extra shift last week, so I get the evening off tonight." She looks back up and smiles at Will. "Hello, lovely. Nice to see you again."

"And you."

Ginger sprints out of the room suddenly, making himself known to my mum.

She shrieks and presses her hand to chest, almost jumping out of her skin. "My goodness, you gave me a fright. Is this your dog?"

Will nods his head. "That's Ginger."

"Well hello, Ginger. Aren't you adorable?" Mum crouches down to give him belly rubs and ear scratches.

I awkwardly clear my throat and step out of my trainers. "Is it okay if Will sleeps in the spare bedroom tonight?"

She looks up at me, smiling brightly and beaming at the both of us. "Of course. You can choose whatever room — the guest room, Sean's old room, River's room. Have you had anything to eat? There's some fries out in the kitchen if you want it."

"I'm good thank you, Ms Emerson," he tells her politely. "Thank you for letting me stay, it's really kind of you."

"It's not a problem at all. And please, call me Penny. Ms Emerson makes me feel old."

Will chuckles in a charming manner. This seems so easy for him; to meet the parent and come up with the right things to say and do. Whereas I struggle with the simplest of tasks.

I wish I could be more like him.

We should exchange notes.

"I'm going to watch Holby City. You two have a good night. I'll see you in the morning hopefully," she tells us both, winking at me in the process.