"What is making you act this way towards me? Is it Sam?" He doesn't meet my eyes. "Just drop it Gemma, there is no future with me. We can't do this anymore." My heart sinks at those words. "Look me in the eyes and say that!" I demand. He continues t...
For the rest of the week, Paul was doing a great job at avoiding me at school. I would send him texts when I would go lay down since it seemed to be the only time that he would ever respond back even with the shortest of replies. It felt like I was getting no where with getting answers from him.
I would send him little reminders about us from over the years. My heart would break a little more with each one. As much as I was fighting and not wanting to give him up, my head kept telling my heart that I need to; that he doesn't care anymore. But until I have real proof that he seriously is done and no longer loves me, I'm not giving up.
I'm sitting in the library waiting for Jared on this freezing Friday morning, staring at last nights messages that have me more torn up than the previous ones.
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Me: Don't you remember when I took you to the waterfall on our anniversary? How you promised me behind the falls with us in each others arms, that you would never leave me? That you would always love me because you can't ever imagine your life without me? The way you kissed me with more love than ever before? Or when we made love for the very first time? How it felt like our souls connected and we became one? Don't you remember the magic? Doesn't any of that mean anything to you?
Paul: Things change...I've changed...accept that and move on.
Me: I can't move on. My heart is set on you Paul. Can't you see that? I don't want no one else and if you don't want me then I guess I'll be all by myself for the rest of my life.
I stared at my phone for a hour after sending that waiting for some kind of reply, but I received nothing.
The longer I stared at my phone, the harder it was to fight back my tears. I can only be strong for so long.
"Morning Gem," Jared greets me with that sympathetic tone. I do nothing but continue to stare at my phone. Over the past week, Jared has been trying to be some what of a comfort to me. I don't know if it's because he's feeling guilty since Paul is now involved in what ever he's apart of with Sam or if he genuinely does care.
He sighs as he sits down next to me and picks up my phone.
"Gemma, you are hurting yourself more by doing this," he says waving my phone in front of my face.
A single tear escapes, "I know," it comes out barely above a whisper, "but I can't let him go Jared. It hurts even more to think about losing him forever." He wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him. Needing the comfort right now, I bury my face into his chest as a few more tears escape. "Until I know for sure that he doesn't love me anymore, I'm not letting him go," I mumble into his chest.
He lifts my head up to look him in the eyes, "You're already causing yourself enough pain as it is. Why do you want hurt yourself more to wait to hear him say that? It will break you more than you already are."
I pull away, "Why do you care so much Jared?" I snap at him which startles him a little. "Ever since we got back from Hawaii, you've acted like you've hated us to do what ever it is you do with Sam. So when you see me falling apart because the one I love with every fiber in my being left me to join you; you start to care about my well-being again?"
