"Dude Looks Like a Lady"

Chapter 4 Faint (Crystals POV)

(Writer's Note: I had the option between a really soppy return and a laughable tension scene. Naturally, I chose the second option :) And just to say, I really love all my fans and thank you so much for commenting and voting :D Hope you enjoy! )

Chapter 4

Faint

~ Crystal

My brother wasn’t too pleased when I had to his borrow boxers, his trousers, his 420 things to do when you’re stoned T-shirt and his straighteners. But, fortunately, he thinks that it’s his fault, so he lets me get away with it.

I was so nervous- but the good nervous- like excited but scared at the same time. I skipped half way there, squealing and running back a few steps and scaring some passerbyers. It took me an hour to make a fifteen-minute walk and by the time I was at the doorstep, I wanted to hug the door and call, ‘I’m home.’

Instead, I made sure my boy persona was ready. I slouched slightly, parted my legs slightly and dialled the pitch down in my voice to ultra low. I raised my fist to knock on the door but ended up pushing it forward with the slight nudge of my knuckles. The living room was empty.

‘Hello?’ I called but nobody answered. Nobody was home.

I missed that place so much it felt like years between now and when I last entered that stuffy old room. I grazed the splintered wood of the table with my fingertips and gave a slight chuckle at the sight of their rug of playboy magazines. Beer rings stained the desk and albums were scattered on the couch as well as crumbs of day old popcorn. I laughed inside, boys will be boys. I didn’t really mind their untidiness, actually I quite liked it. Maybe I sound disgusting or a mink for thinking so, but it’s so them. The walls were drenched in their memories and personality and I wouldn’t want the room to change for the world, because it would mean they would have to change too.

I heard voices coming from the pathway to the door. Oh shit! In hindsight, the sensible thing to do would have been to stand there while they came in, explain that the door was open and beg to become part of the band again. Instead, I ran down the hall and into Strings room, slamming the door as gently as possible behind me. Oh no… At least I hadn’t brought my guitar with me.

‘Strings- please just think about it!’ That was Red’s voice. He sounded genuinely concerned, what were they talking about?

‘I think stir fry tonight.’ He said and I could hear the opening of a fridge. ‘Or maybe meat balls?’

‘Don’t change the subject.’

‘It should be Drummer you’re asking, not me.’

There was a silence, then Red said, ‘Well?’ I think it was directed at Drummer.

‘I don’t want him back.’ He said, in a small voice.

I shivered. They were talking about me.

‘Why not?’

‘Because… We don’t need him.’ I thought he said he missed me too?

‘Look, I know this is hard for you, with all he did and everything…’ Oh God, what did I do? ‘It was a heat of the moment thing.’ Leaving the band? Did it really hurt him so much that he hates me? Oh… Drummer, I’m so sorry- I didn’t mean to ditch…

‘Look. It’s not about if I will forgive him.’ He said, ‘But he’ll never forgive me, you should know that by now. Sailor has always been stubborn.’ I sighed in relief. They weren’t talking about me after all. ‘Besides, I think he’s enjoying the thornberries or whatever they’re called.’

‘I just don’t get it.’ Strings chimed in, ‘You went on and on about not getting a replacement for Ray, but now you can’t replace Chris fast enough.’

‘I’m not wanting to replace him- that’s why I want Sailor back! If we had a keyboardist we wouldn’t need a guitarist.’

There was silence. Then I heard footsteps walk up the hall along with Strings advancing voice. ‘It doesn’t matter anyway, douchebag. Blue Eyed Crafters, Lazer Graffiti- they don’t matter- any band of ours falls apart!’ He sounded so wounded and what he was saying was making me feel uneasy. But I couldn’t think about all that then, he was headed straight for his room and I had to find a hiding place- fast.

I dived into closet beside the door just as it swung open. He slammed it fiercely behind him and threw himself on his bed like a stroppy teenager would. I stared at him through the crack in the wardrobe and saw that he looked more rugged than usual. Exhaustion had bruised his eyes and left his cheeks hallow. I couldn’t understand why he was so without purpose.

Thankfully he put headphones on and turned over on his side. I slid cautiously out of the wardrobe and tiptoed to the door. He turned and I froze. His eyes were right on me as he mouthed the words to Don’t Start a Band by Reel Big Fish. My heart skidded to a halt, smacking against my chest. Oh my… But he didn’t see me for some reason; he just turned back over. I silently thanked God for the miracle he bestowed on me, although I would later find out that it was no miracle, but that Strings is very, very short sighted and didn’t have his contacts in that day. Still, thank you God!

I slipped out the room, slowly closing the door behind me. Time to make my escape! I told myself, ready to run down the hall and out the front door- until I saw Red walk from the kitchen to the living room. Oh no! I turned and hid into the bathroom, but then heard heavy thuds walk their way towards me and forgot to shut the door behind me. I leapt into the bath and pulled over the shower curtain just before someone entered, shutting the door behind them.

After a few unzipping noises, I awkwardly breathed as I heard, whoever it was, pee extremely loudly. It was Drummer; I only figured that out because he began singing "Smile like you mean it". The five minutes of uncomfortable noises was over and I heard him zip up again. Phew. I was ready to move, but couldn’t. Drummer was still in there with me. I saw his silhouette on the curtain screen; pulling his top over his head and letting it drop to his feet. I froze. He was getting naked! And he was going to have a shower!

I tensed up to the point I was a cringing terrified statue. He pulled down his trousers and I lifted my sight to the ceiling. He yanked a towel off the top of the curtain pole and wrapped it around that area- Thank God- and began to move towards the door. Maybe he would leave to get something, so I could escape quickly? But no, he turned and put his hand through the side of the curtain, switching on the iciest water that shot through me like one thousand icicles. I screamed a girls scream louder that I’d ever screamed before. He withdrew the curtain, his fringe at either side of his face to reveal his wide blues eyes frozen with shock.

‘Chris?’ He asked in a way that strained his vocal chords.

There was no good way out of this. So, like the girl I actually am, I did the only thing I really could do to get out of that situation. Faint.