Red Lace

Chapter 17

NICHUME TSHAWE MNGUNI

As you may have imagined, mom took me to a specialist but because I am 18, I asked to see the doctor alone because I did not want her to find out about the rape. I realize how much she and dad have endured already during my disappearance. This secret won't hurt, and I hope it will lighten the burden on them. The doctor gave me some kind of morning-after pill and pills to prevent any future diseases and transmitted infections. My siblings are starting university shortly, I need to apply too and get my life in order. Lethu will be coming home soon, so yes, they have a lot on their plates. Adeyemi is a character I wish to be relieved of and forget about as quickly as possible but, it is easier said than done because he's all I've been thinking about since I came home. He's all I've been dreaming about as of late. It disgusts me. The worst part about it is that it's never bad dreams. The first day I fantasized about him was a pleasant dream; he was like the perfect boyfriend, treated me right, and made me happy, but I awakened before anything could happen between us. And the second night I dreamt of him I woke up with my hand inside my pj pants and very much wet; now that dream I don't recall but I know I woke up and took a long shower just to clear myself of him. I despise how he is all I can think about, even when I zone out: I find myself in a world where only he and I exist. It's like he's become my place of comfort and I loathe it. Lord knows I hate myself for allowing him to invade my mind the way he does, but I have no control over it. I take my laptop and try to investigate anything I can find about Immortal beings, but I don't get much. Just as I'm browsing, an idea hits me, or rather I am overcome by this urge to search about the mansions. I don't know what to type in order to get the information I'm looking for and so my next best option is to type out the little details I recall about the place I was in. I come across an article where someone is talking about their experience of the mansion. It's a blog from an anonymous person, she's detailing her experience and how she was never the same after she was set free by her master such that she found her way back to the mansions because that's the only place where she was able to feel normal again. I angrily close my laptop because there's no way I will ever go back to that place. Why would anyone want to return to the same place that broke them? I put my laptop in my drawer and head downstairs where Yethu and Ntando are sitting watching tv.

"Are mom and dad home?" I ask them.

"Mom said she was going to see Aunty Yoyo and dad said he was going to work. Why?" Ntando asks.

"I wanted to go a book store, I need something to read and keep my mind off of things but I can't drive," I explain.

"I'll take you," Yethu offers. I'm shocked that he is offering because he was the first one to walk out when I narrated what happened and truth be told we haven't spoken since. I think he's been avoiding me or something.

"Oh," I exclaim, it wasn't meant to come out as it did.

"Ntando can drive you if you don't want me," he quickly says.

"We can go Yethu it's fine," I say and he gets up.

"I'll just change my shoes and then we can leave," He says and walks to his bedroom. Ntando looks at me and I sit down next to her.

"He hates himself for how he reacted and he's trying but he doesn't know how to approach you," Ntando explains and I nod.

"I'm not faulting him for anything though," I say and she shrugs her shoulders. Yethu walks in with the car keys.

"Ready?" He asks and I nod standing up. We head out, and he opens the door for me and gets in the driver's seat.

"What's up?" I start off and he sighs.

"I'm sorry for walking out that day, I'm sorry for avoiding you these past two days. It hurt me hearing what you went through sis, I know things must have been hard for you because you experienced them and all... I guess what I am trying to say is I am sorry," Yethu confesses apologetically, I look at him and then place my hand over his on the gear.