Red Lace

Chapter 18

NICHUME TSHAWE MNGUNI

As I mentioned before, adjusting to the real world is not easy. I stand before this man battling the need to bow my head down when an elder speaks to me because in my three years of captivity that is what they programmed me to do. I have my freedom; I know I am free, but it's hard to convince my mind that I am no longer a captive; I find myself bowing my head down and submitting to this man, despite my being free. It's an involuntary movement from my side, meaning I have no control over it. I don't know if I'm allowed to mention that they have set me free. I don't know how a slave is meant to behave after being set free. My anxieties start to act up, not now, please, I plead inwardly, trying to find the right words to respond to this man. My heartbeat is escalating as fear consumes me, making it hard to let in any breaths. Breathe Nichume. Just breathe. It's all in your head.

"You were initiated. It means you know that when an elder speaks to you, you have to respond!" he demands. His tone is no longer as friendly as it was when he was assisting me with the book.

"Chume, is everything okay?" Yethu asks, coming up from behind me. I am grateful that he is here, but even his presence does not stop me from bowing in submission to a master.

"I'm okay. Can we please just leave?" My feet are stuck in the ground. I am unable to move because an elder has not yet dismissed me. Tears roll down my cheeks, I never imagined that this was how things were going to be from hereon. He holds the book out to me.

"She couldn't reach the book and so I got it for her. You are welcome," He says.

"Thank you. Master," I say with the lowest voice, taking the book from him. I thought I could do it. I thought I was ready to face the world, but clearly, I'm not. He walks away, and that's when I'm able to let out a breath.

"Master?" Yethu asks, "Was he one of the men that took you?" He asks and I shake my head, wiping my tears quickly. He slips his finger under my chin, making me look up at him, "Chume,"

"Can we please just pay and go home? I don't want to be here anymore," I beg with my eyes, searching for the elder who assisted me with the book. I'm grateful when Yethu doesn't ask any more questions and walks to the till and only then am I able to move my feet and follow him. We pay for my book and we leave. We get to the car and he opens the door for me. I get in. He puts my book on the car floor next to my feet before closing the door for me. I look outside as tears roll down my cheeks. I keep wiping them, but that seems to only make them worse. The more I try to stop the tears the more I feel my chest slowly closing in on me, there's no air coming into my nose and so I open my mouth taking huge gulps of air but nothing, it's not working, there's no air coming into the chest. I feel hot.

"I-I-I can't b-re-athe" I say with short breaths to Yethu. He starts to panic and looks inside the cabin hole for something and quickly hands me my asthma pump. I quickly take it and start to pump some air into my mouth like a starved dog.

"I'm taking you to the doctor!"

KHAYALETHU MNGUNI

Shadow called me telling me that they got them, but I couldn't leave my family, not after what Nichume told us. These past two days, I've been sitting and thinking about the best way to punish them, but nothing fitting came to mind. I need them to pay for what they did to my daughter; I need them to see the depth of what they did to my baby girl. Shadow meets me at the door of the warehouse.

"We started without you," He reports and I chuckle. Shadow is sick in the head! "How's the family? How is Nichume?" he asks and I let out a sigh.

"She's stronger than I imagined her to be. She narrated everything that happened to her." I tell him and he stops in shock.