Trash Can Full of Star Wars Ships and Other

My black steel heart (platonic vaderwan)

I was sitting in a meeting facing at Tarkin as he spoke but in reality I was staring off into space, all his words were going into one ear and out the other, just like Obi-Wan used to s- NO, no, you can't think of tha- "Do you agree Vader?" agree with what.
"Yes." I hope I didn't just agree to something stupid, it's just like the concil me- no. Hey, i remember that one time- No, stop thinking, stop thinking. This was going to be a long meeting.

Once the door to my quarters was locked I took off and put down my helmet, I walked over to the window which had a window still you could sit on and sat down. Obi-Wan used to have a spot just like this, no, no, you can't think about that, forget it, you are Darth Vader, feared sith, not Anakin Skywalker, I have to remember that, I could barely even focus in the battle tactic meeting because the memories kept bugging me, I have to keep them away. As i thought this i felt memory's push against my my mind and I grasped my head in my hands as memory after memory swirled around it, like a tornado of all things remembered and forbidden that should be forgotten. I was dragged down into one certain burning hot memory and the scene engulfed me, I turned away from the lava that would soon burn me, and the Jedi that would soon hurt me but that couldn't and wouldn't stop me from having to hearing the lavas boiling hiss which sent lightning down my spine, and the words yelled and thrown like weapons which still hurt

Its over Anakin I have the high ground

You underestimate my power

Don't try it

I winced, I may not remember most of it, but the burning pain that came next I would never forget, I had missed a few words but then something got my attention

I hate you

You were my brother Anakin

I loved you

Loved me? He loved me. Absentmindedly I shut out all the memories with my overwhelming grief and guilt, I curled up onto a ball and looked out into space

"He loved me"

"He actually loved me"

I whispered as my tears blurred the view, the view I could be watching with him.

Hi! It's me, lots of updates today :), I also used 'sent lightning down my spine' instead of 'sent shivers down my spine' because it lava, it's hot, just feel like I need to add that.