After coffee it got cooler and Joe initiated the move indoors. 'I'll just check in with Glen', Joe said quietly to Jill as she reached past him to place the used glasses on the counter. She nodded, 'take as long as you need, I'll be fine', she assured him. He returned half an hour later and slid into his spot beside Jill on the sofa, their hands naturally finding each other.
The general conversation continued, now turned to a discussion of the Pope and his work on the environment and social justice. 'Joe is a big fan, aren't you honey?' Jill said gently squeezing her husband's hand, 'we both are', she stated. Donatelllo leaned forward and asked Joe about meeting the Holy Father, interested in the protocols and the preparation surrounding such a trip.
Finally the evening drew to a close and it was time to say good night. Isabella and Donatello left in a flurry of hugs and kisses and calls of 'we will do this again'. Joe closed the door quietly, pondering that they just had a short time remaining on their trip. They had a lot to figure out before they left. As he turned to walk to the kitchen Glen came down the corridor. 'I need to talk to you sir. I have an update', he said simply.
They sat silently as the video played, remaining silent for a few moments after it had ended.
Joe squeezed his eyes closed, the feeling of failure strong.
Failure to protect his wife.
Failure to protect her privacy.
Their privacy.
Failure to stop the most intimate moments of their relationship from becoming nothing but fodder for the darkest minds on the internet.
'Who else has seen it?', he asked, his voice low, sad. 'Nobody sir. Well not that I know of anyway', Glen tried to reassure the president. 'Was it sent to you or where did you find it?' Joe asked. 'I found it sir, posted on a private Russian website, I hacked into it so it's not in the public domain yet', Glen explained. Partly glad that he had finally achieved a breakthrough. Gutted at what he had uncovered. It wasn't a great feeling to be proven correct in this case. He had assumed all along there was more than just the photos, now that he found a video of the event; in full color and glorious sound, he had a better idea of what the next step would be. The video was an insurance policy of sorts.
'If you try to do anything to get to the agent it'll be released. That's what the label says and I have no reason to believe that was any sort of plant. It is a genuine instruction', Glen said succinctly.
'So Jill and I either get the agent out and in doing so this is released, or we just look out for ourselves and the agent dies. Correct?' he asked, looking at the analyst. 'Yes sir, that's correct'. Glen watched as the president paced the small room, wearily rubbing his forehead.
As Joe paced the floor his eyes occasionally found their way to the video. It was playing again, mercifully without the sound this time but the actions were clear. Their faces were clear. What they were doing was abundantly clear. Another thought struck Joe.
'How easily can Jill's face be obscured, or replaced', he asked? Glen frowned at the question but looked again at the image on the video. 'Pretty easily', Glen said. 'Do you want to obscure her identity?', he asked, his confusion evident in the tone of his voice. 'Not me no, but ... I'm thinking that when it's released it can just as easily be suggested that it's me and another woman', Joe said, feeling his stomach flip over at the thought.
He really didn't know which was worse. A video of him and Jill engaging in sex outdoors or the same image suggesting he was having an affair. A stark reality came over him. His whole body felt like it was covered in ice.
The only way they could win was to release it first, themselves. That way at least they could control the content. Make it clear it was them and not another woman. He felt sick to the pit if his stomach.
Joe sat heavily in the seat at the desk recently vacated by Glen. He let his head fall onto his hands and felt the despair he was feeling overcome him and leak through his eyes as tears. He had failed the one person in the whole world who meant more to him than anything.
In a strange trick of the mind he was transported back to their wedding day when, before the ceremony, he promised Jill's father that he could depend on Joe to protect his daughter. The daughter that made it clear to everyone that she needed nobody's protection. He had lived by that code throughout every single day of their marriage.
Until today.
Today was the day he finally failed her.
The day that he hoped would never come had just arrived.
He was enveloped in a feeling of utter despair.
Of failure.
Glen discreetly left the room and let the president sob in peace.
In bed later Jill's fingers scratched gently against Joe's stomach. He squeezed his eyes closed. Any other night he would playfully wrap his arm around her and pull her close. Would kiss her and they would laugh quietly about her wanting it. He'd tease her while slipping his hands inside her clothes, fully intent on giving her a wonderful experience. They'd begin with foreplay, pretense, and then it would lead to the beautiful joining together of their bodies. Ending in the blissful release they could only find in each other.
Not tonight though.
He couldn't face it tonight.
The video was playing repeat in his head, the image of him and Jill replaced with him and other women. Men even. Who the hell knew how that video could be doctored these days. He willed the tears not to come. Breaking down now in front of Jill would be the final straw. He needed to try to clear his mind. Try to think of something but he was so consumed with guilt and self loathing and fear that his mind was unable to drag itself from that video. It just went round and round and round on a constant loop making his head and stomach swirl.
He reached for her hand in the darkness. Turned towards her. 'You mind if we just go to sleep?' he asked quietly, hesitantly. 'I just feel a bit off', he said by way of explanation. He felt Jill stiffen a little, draw back her hand as if unsure what she should do. 'Yeh, of course', she said, her voice small. 'Are you ok though. I mean ...', she hesitated, 'it's not like you to pass up the opportunity' she said returning her hand to his body, pressing kisses to his chest.
He wanted to push her away.
Didn't ever want to push her away.
Wanted to wrap her arms around her and tell her everything.
Wanted to never have to tell her anything about it, ever.
'No. Yeah. I just. I just feel unwell', he muttered, 'I'll be fine in the morning', he said turning on his side. Away from her so she wouldn't see the tears leaking from his eyes glisten in the moonlight.
'Okay', she murmured. 'I'll be right here if you need anything', she said, pressing a kiss to his shoulder and slipping her arm around him.
She found his hand and held it in her smaller one, placing both over his heart. She reached up and whispered in his ear, 'I love you Joe'. He nodded his head, unable to form the words through the sobs he was holding back.
To be continued ...
