Joe turned the television off. Sickened by what he'd seen. He knew the story behind it all, the reality of what was condensed into a three minute, heavily edited piece fit for television viewing. Enough to trigger an emotional reaction, not nearly enough to let folks even begin to see the real impact of this bombing, or any other.
He heard Jill's voice in the hallway outside and closed his eyes for a moment, letting the sound cleanse him and chase the demons away.
As she opened the door of their bedroom and stepped inside he was knotting his tie, seemingly unaware of the drama unfolding on television screens across the country. Jill came close, her face a little flushed, her hair slightly messed, a sheen of perspiration across her brow. 'Good workout?' he asked. She nodded but he saw her eyes scan his face, and look for the heaviness of the load across his shoulders.
'Yeah, it was good', she replied. She stepped closer to him. 'Umm, obviously you know', she began before pausing, choosing her words carefully. 'I presume that's why you were up during the night?' she asked.
He nodded, turned away a little to hide the tears prickling his eyes. 'Yeah, sorry if I disturbed you', he said quickly.
She looked at his broad back now turned to her. Understood that sometimes verbalizing things made it more difficult for him. He had to go into a meeting soon and be President, be cool headed and clear eyed. To do that effectively he would need to push his own emotions down. Turning his back was a subtle message to her not to probe right now.
She chewed her lip a little and decided on her strategy.
'Yeah, well, that's no excuse for you to skip your bike ride this morning, that's thirty minutes extra you've gotta make up or this is going to start causing a problem', she joked, slipping her hands around his waist and patting his belly. 'It's starting to fill out, you know', she teased, turning her head and resting her cheek against his back.
She felt the muscles of his shoulders unclench a little.
He knew she couldn't care less how much of a tummy he had, knew she was just trying to lighten things for him at this moment. He was so grateful to her for not pressing him on it but the emotion in his voice was difficult to hide. His voice was an octave higher than normal, trying to find the right tone, not quite getting there though. 'Thankfully you don't just love me for my looks' he jibed back, turning now to face her. They both laughed a little, easing the weight of the news just a tiny bit.
She kissed him then reluctantly stepped back a little. 'I've got to get ready for school. And I'm sure you've meetings, but do you have time for breakfast together?' she asked.
She watched as he hesitated. He'd love nothing more than breakfast together but ...
'Do you have time? I mean, you've gotta shower and change and get your things together', he replied.
His voice was filled with hope but she could detect the reluctance too. He knew her school days ran to a tight schedule. She knew he wouldn't want to upset her timeframe. He was afraid to get his hopes up. She smiled to herself, gosh he's absolutely adorable right now, she thought.
She rested her hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. 'Go grab my bag for me, it's in our study. There's a pile of papers and pens and post-it notes on my desk, put them in it too. When you've done that you can get my overnight oats and coffee ready and take my lunch from the fridge and I'll be along then, ok?' she instructed as she began to strip off her sweaty exercise clothes.
Her heart swelled at the look of delight on his face.
Ten minutes later she was taking her place at the breakfast table. He had poured her coffee and the overnight oats were topped with berries, just the way she liked it. 'Your lunch bag is with your school bag, they're by the door in the living room. I put your purse with them too and I left a coat out. Probably not the one you'd choose but ...', his words trailed off into a shrug.
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