Heaven

chapter 23: nothing quite like love

Caleb desired blood. But this time, rabbit blood would not do. He wanted human. Monster. Demon. He desired it like longing desires companionship. Like sorrow desires a tender touch. As he stood in front of the altar waiting for people to start arriving, he felt a hollow ache in the pit of his stomach. The ache moved from his belly to his bones. It dug into the marrow creating a map of everything Cal was and loathed.

"I never lost my faith in you," he said softly as he glanced at the silent iron cross resting on the pulpit. "But you lost your faith in me and in every Kadisin you created. Will I ever be able to redeem myself?"

Silence lamented. Caleb knew there would never be a reply. Perhaps Sina had been right. God was dead in Heaven.

Sina. Cal couldn't get him out of his mind. Last night, he'd thought about him as he walked home from Purgatory. Before falling asleep, Sina's name had been whispered to the walls. And Father Caleb was thinking of him now. It wasn't solely blood Cal desired. There was another longing he ached for. Touch. The touch of a man who he could cherish and would cherish him. But Sina had not shown any signs of interest.

Fool! Bitterly, he thought of a million reasons why Sina would never be keen on him and a million more on how bad an idea it would be if he was. You masquerade as a holy man. Why would he be interested in a priest? No one in their right state of mind would lust after me while I'm wearing the collar and preaching. Besides, you just invited him to stay in your home as your guest and now you're having romantic thoughts about him? Shame should cover me like a shroud.

Caleb lifted his gaze and caught a glint of artificial light on the iron Christ. "I am unworthy of love. Yours. His. Anyone's."

Car wheels driving onto the gravel parking lot created a dull crunching sound. The people Caleb had seen a week ago in his church soon entered with bibles in their grasps and sly gazes cast around to the back of the church. All of them looked happy to be back in the arms of God and in the Grace of their new preacher, especially when they saw that Mr. Jackson was not there.

Somewhere in the distance, a clock struck nine.

Caleb touched the iron Jesus and whispered to himself. "You do not love all Your children the same, do you?"

"More coffee, sugah pie?"

Sina raised his head. Using Kafka's novel The Castle as a pillow, he had fallen asleep in one of the booths of Evan's. Rubbing his eyes, he felt them burn. He had crawled back to Cookie's at a quarter past three and woke up less than three hours later.

"Sugah pie?"

When the waitress spoke again, he sat up, pushed his empty cup to her, and nodded. "You know I can't say no, Al-Jay. But I'd be a happier customer if you served it intravenously instead. I'm desperate for the sort of salvation that comes from caffeine."

The waitress chuckled as she filled Sina's cup. She was plump and wrinkle-free with a short curly crop of light brown hair which made her look like she was in her thirties. But Sina knew she had just turned fifty-six. Unlike Delores Cullen – the Wicked Witch of the West who was a few years older- Alberta Jane McGully was sweeter than anything at Evan's, even the chocolate cake.

"I'll let Evangelo know he's got a complaint." Alberta Jane chuckled and winked.

Raising the steaming cup, Sina replied, "Make sure you do."

Al winced as Sina took a large sip of strong black coffee. "Sugah pie, it's scorching. You'll burn yourself."

After taking another equally large sip Sina set the cup down. "Naw. I'm immune to anything that burns."

"Except churches?" Al said knowingly.

"Yah. I remember you also said more than once that you'd spontaneously combust if you ever had to walk into that one." Sina hooked his thumb in the direction of Saint Aggy's.

Alberta Jane rolled her eyes. "Only if those busybodies are inside." She slipped into the seat opposite Sina. "I have eyes and ears and I ain't no fool, sugah." Giving Sina a knowing nod, Al pursed her lips and uttered. "I've seen folks in love before. True love. And I've seen more of my share of prejudice. I sure as fudge don't want to spend my time around people like that." Shaking her head Al uttered, "Poor Travis... gone and crippled by his own pa. Abraham was always stern and sour but to hit your own child? People who supposedly believe in God do not ever raise their hands at their own flesh and blood."

Sina curled his hands around the hot coffee cup and buried his face in the steam. He was aware some people knew of Cookie and Trav's romance but at that moment he sure as hell wasn't interested in taking part in any conversation about what had happened that broke his friend's heart and his lover's legs and back.

Al sighed. "We're better off prayin' at home."

Sina raised his gaze to her but remained silent. She knew he wasn't the prayin' sort. Anyone who knew Sina knew his lack of faith was as strong as a cup of Evan's coffee.

Shuffling out of the seat, Al placed her hand on Sina's shoulder. "Are ya hungry? How about a piece of pie? On the house. We've got apple, rhubarb, and a cherry one so sweet it'll have you running straight to the dentist."

"Apple as usual." A smile ghosted Sina's lips. "How come you're so sweet, Al-Jay?"

Chuckling, Al patted her round tummy. "I eat a lot of pie, sugah. You can't possibly be a bitter ol' thing when you've got a tummy full of good stuff. I'll just get you a big ol' slice with whipped cream and caramel sauce."

Sina removed his hands from around the cup. When he saw his palms were red, he hid them in his lap. "Like poetry for my taste buds."

"You need some fat on you, Sina Noir. That ol' place has made you all skinny. Too much dancin' ain't good. That's why I stopped."

Shocked at the revelation, Sina said up straight. "You were a dancer?"

Alberta Jane nodded proudly.

"In Purgatory?"

"No baby. Jazz." Al raised her brows. "And I was damn good too."

"What happened?"

Al sighed dramatically. "I hit that big ol' wall called love. Got knocked up three weeks after setting eyes on Lester. By the time I was twenty-three I had traded my dancing shoes for dirty diapers. Four amazing kids later..." Al smiled so much it reached her eyes, "and I regret nothing." Tapping her fingers on the tabletop, she added, "Ain't nothing quite like love, sugah. That and desire."

Sina tapped his own finger on his book. "And a good story."

"I read half of that then Betty accidentally dropped a whole glass of grape juice on it. Ruined it."

"Did you like it?"

"I must admit I did. I wish I could have finished it though. I woulda loved to know how it ended up for K."

When Al left, Sina looked at the clock. It was nine AM. He had been sitting at the same spot for nearly two and a half hours and would remain there until service was finished. Luckily, Even's opened at six AM so he came as soon as he woke up and fell asleep on his book as soon as his butt hit the seat. Sina knew Father Caleb had said he could go to his house anytime he wanted. But he also knew he'd only get as far as the front porch because Sina needed to be invited in. Properly. With the words invited in spoken from the host's mouth. The consequences for entering a house or church uninvited for someone like him would be disastrous. Touching his eyes, Sina winced. He did not want blood coming out of them. Nor his ears. Nor his mouth. He didn't want to feel like his skin was burning either. If he combusted in front of the priest, it would not be very sexy. Looking out of the window, Sina bit his lip. He wished he had been born human and not a fucking demon.

*Fun Fact: Alberta is named after the providence in Canada. :)