Heaven

chapter 32: greater than gravity

Cookie was still on a high as he headed back home. He decided to take the long way despite the drizzle. Even though his shoes were soaked, he didn't care. He had talked to Travis; held his hand and reminisced with him. It felt like Heaven had come down.

"We've gotta stand this," Cookie had said.

Looking up from his sticky magazine, Travis asked how.

"I don't know, Travy. But we can't do nothing more. Not while we're standing in the aftermath of a tragedy and still dizzy from the shock. One day things will get better. Not today. Not tomorrow and probably not for a long time. But they will. They got to. Shit don't last forever. I swear to you. One day we'll be OK again."

Under falling rain, Cookie echoed, "One day we'll be OK again," As he crossed the street, he touched the spot on his cheek Travis had placed his fingers on and told him his skin was buttery soft. Cookie chuckled at the thought. "You're such a cliche, Travy." He shook his head at the sweet contemplation and cherished every second of it because he didn't know when he'd be able to obtain another memory like this. "It's been so long," he sighed as he stepped onto the curb.

Heaven was silent. Despite it being day, it was as dead as if it was midnight. "Al is right. This rain keeps the sinners home." Passing by Woolworths, Cookie let out a snort. "I hope your dress itches and your shoes pinch your feet, Mrs. Cullen." He held up a hand to ward off the sight of the store and hurried on in the direction of his and May's home.

Puddles lay all around. His shoes made a sucking sound with every step as they tried to escape his feet. "Goddamn Payless shoes." Looking down at them, he scowled and promised himself he'd never get anything from the five bucks and under shelf.

"I told you not to shop there."

Sina's voice startled Cookie. He yelped and nearly whacked his friend with his umbrella. "Why are you sneaking up on people, boy?"

Sina stood with his hands jammed into his pockets. He hadn't taken an umbrella and was soaked. "Nice to see you too, Cookie," he said sarcastically. "It's been a while. Yes. I missed you too." Rolling his eyes, Sina jut out a hip and tapped his foot. "Let's try it again. Hi, Cookie. Hi, Sina. How are you? Oh, I'm absofuckilgy fucked. How are you?"

"Boy, what's wrong?" Cookie stepped closer to his friend and made sure they were both under his umbrella.

Sina's eyes shone with tears. He kept sniffling and there was dried grass stuck to his hair.

Cookie reached over and plucked a blade off. "Were you rolling around in the forest?"

"Slept there," Sina said flatly.

As the rain began to fall harder, Cook hooked his arm through Sina's and pulled him under an awning. "I thought you had a place to stay?"

"Not no more. Left yesterday."

"Then why the fudge didn't you come find me?"

"I was worried Aunt May's beauty would corrupt me. Especially her snaggle tooth and lack of eyebrows."

Cookie sighed. "I could have snuck you in."

"Forget it, Cookie. I belong in the forest with the rest of the animals."

"Babe..." Cookie began softly, "What's the matter?"

The tears Sina hadn't shed all day came pouring down. "I don't want to say."

Cookie gently hushed his best friend's sobs and wrapped his arms around him.

Sina did not hug Cookie back but he didn't pull away. "Tell me something good because everything sucks right now."

"I saw Travis. He was alone having pancakes at Evan's. I spoke with him. I still love him and I think he loves me."

"You're good people," Sina sniffed and breathed in the lingering scent of Cook's cologne. "Of course ol' pudding brains still loves you. There's no one like you." Sina looked up at his friend. "I hate love."

Cookie gave him a melancholy smile. "It can be rough. People judge."

"Hurts. Hate it. Hate myself."

Cookie looked down puzzled. "Babe? Is there something you should be telling me?"

When the fresh tears came, Cookie held Sina even tighter.

"I thought I understood him," Sina cried. "I thought we connected. I fucking felt it."

"Who?"

"Him...him," though Sina tried, he struggled to say Cal's name.

It took Cookie a moment, but then he raised a brow. Although he asked, he was almost sure of the reply, "I know you were staying at Father Caleb's. You told me. But...the reason you left his home... did something happen or am I being stupid?"

"Not stupid," Sina said almost inaudibly.

"Oh, babe," Cookie drew in a long breath, "Are you in love with him?"

Sina let the thunder crack violently above before he dared answer. Lightning flashed and darkness became light. "Yah," he whispered, "I'm painfully and pitifully in love with your G –" he lifted a hand and bit down on his knuckles. "Your God-fearing, bible-lovin', everything-I'm-against Father Caleb."

"Good Lord in the Heavens above," Cookie uttered under his breath. "Tell me you are fibbing."

Sina touched his head to Cook's shoulder and shook his head.

Carefully trying to fit the information in his head, Cookie uttered, "He's a priest."

"No shit."

"But he can't fall in love, can he? Priests aren't supposed to get close to another person like that. They can't do..." a pause, "you know what."

"Shut up, Cookie." Sina grunted and pulled away. "You sound like you do belong in that church with the rest of the ones judging other people's love."

Cookie looked crestfallen. "That is not what I meant."

Sina turned his head and glared in the opposite direction.

"I'm not judging. I promise you I am not. I simply believed it was not allowed."

"Maybe Cal burned his rulebook."

"Cal, huh?"

Sina nodded but kept his gaze turned away.

"You sure you didn't misunderstand anything?"

"Cook, do I look like I don't understand these things?" Sina said sharply as he looked over. "We got close."

Cookie absentmindedly lowered his still-open umbrella, and because it lay a few inches away from under the awning, rain began to pool in its center. "How close?"

Sina turned his back to Cook and watched the rain create bubbles on the sidewalk.

"Boy, you turn around this instant and answer my question."

Sina did as he was told to. Narrowing his eyes, he spat, "I nearly sucked his dick. That's how close. He let me touch him. He pulled me close. He said it felt good. He wanted it as much as I did. I didn't misunderstand the way his breath hitched or his hard-on."

For a long moment, it looked like Cookie would pass out. But he didn't. Dropping his umbrella, he reached over and pulled Sina into a tight embrace. "Do you know what they will do to you if they find out?" his voice was strained and with each word he held on even tighter.

"No one will know. It's over. It barely began and it's over. He told me to leave. He doesn't want me, Cook. No one wants me." At that moment, Sina reached out and gingerly wrapped his arms around Cookie's waist. "I've never felt this before. It's powerful. So damn powerful. Like gravity. Worse."

"Babe," Cookie's words floated above them, "Love's the greatest force on earth." 

* Fun Fact: I was initially not going to have Sina tell Cookie about what happened with Cal. I changed my mind and it snowballed into the next few chapters.