worth the risk • dean portman

chapter twenty two

dean

I need to get out of here.

Seriously, why am I here to begin with? I'm living in a house that's not my own, in a state that I'm not even from, while my family is hundreds of miles away. Most of the time, I debate on whether or not I should just pack up my things and leave.

Now? I have a perfect reason to. Not only am I banned from seeing my girlfriend, I had to sit there and watch the guy who made her dad make this "ban" in the first place shamelessly flirt with her for hours.

I mean, it's not like I have anything important going on right now. I can train anywhere, so it's not like missing spring training will be that important. Orion can yell at me all he wants if and when I come back, and he'll see just how much I care.

The thought of transferring schools also pops into my head, which makes me feel extremely guilty. My mom had to pull a lot of strings for me to come here, and I would hate to let her down. I hate letting her down in general, and I know I'd never be able to live with myself if I gave this opportunity up.

Missing school is definitely something that I should be concerned about, especially because my grades aren't the best. It should be fine, because I don't plan on being gone for more than a month. And honestly, a month is pushing it.

I just want some time to myself and to be able to collect my thoughts about this whole situation, without having to put on an act for everyone around me. I don't like to show my emotions, and I'll do anything to avoid it. And if that means flying home to escape, then so be it.

As I'm throwing stuff into my suitcase, Fulton comes into my room and looks at me weirdly. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Going home." I answer nonchalantly, as I continue to throw clothes from the pile I've made on the ground into my suitcase. "My flight's in just over two hours, so we can leave as soon as I'm finished packing."

"Hold on Portman." Fulton blurts out, confusion evident in his voice. "This makes no sense. Spring training and second semester just started. Why the hell are you leaving?"

"You don't get it." I mumble. "Are you going to take me to the airport or not? I have a flight to catch."

When he doesn't answer me, I turn around to look at him after I zip my suitcase. "Well? Are you taking me or not? I don't really feel like calling a car service, so it'd be nice if you would take me."

Fulton blinks and snaps out of whatever state he was in and forms his mouth into a straight line. "Yeah, I'll take you. Give me two minutes."

He walks out of my room and down the hall, which allows me to let out a sigh of relief. He definitely knows that I'm hiding the bigger reason for leaving, but he's not going to get it out of me so easily. If there's one thing Fulton should know in the four years of being my best friend, it's that I don't crack easily.

I finish my packing by throwing a bunch of stuff I need into my backpack, and then walk into the living room to wait for Fulton. He emerges from his room a few seconds later with an unreadable expression on his face. The walk to the car is silent, which leaves me feeling very unsettled.

Fulton doesn't speak to me the entire car ride, which freaks me out. He's never this quiet, especially around me. When we get to the airport, he pulls to the curb and unlocks the car. I hop out, walk around to the trunk, grab my bag and start to walk towards the entrance. Within five seconds, I hear Fulton call out, "Portman, wait!"

I turn around to face him. "What's up?"

"I think I figured it out." he says suddenly.

I quickly run a hand through my hair and make a face. "Figured out what?"

He rolls his eyes and looks at me like I'm stupid. "Why you're leaving."

"That's cool." I answer, probably a little too obnoxiously. "I would stay and talk, but I have a flight in two hours. Later."

I turn back around and head for the doors, but Fulton's next words make me stop dead in my tracks. "This whole thing is about Morgan, isn't it?"

Instead of answering him, I just walk into the airport. That should've given him the answer he was clearly looking for, because I don't want to stand around and talk about it more than I need to. Besides, I need to make my flight. Missing it is the last thing I need added onto my plate right now.

After checking my bag in, I'm thrilled to find that the security line isn't too long. Booking a flight on a Sunday during the middle of the day is usually prime time rush hour, but I guess something's going right today. It's honestly one of the only good things that's happened to me all week, and that's saying something.

Security only takes fifteen minutes, which leaves me with a solid hour of free time before boarding. I run to the convenience store closest to my gate to buy some chips, and make it back to my gate with tons of time to spare.

After I've settled in my seat, I realize I forgot to call my mom and tell her I'm coming home. I dial her number and listen to it ring, smiling when I hear her voice on the line. "Hi my boy! What's up?"

"Well, I'm currently on a plane right now that takes off in a few minutes." I answer nonchalantly. "Do you think you can pick me up from the airport when I get home?"

"Hold on a second." she interjects. "You're coming home?"

I swallow the nerves that have suddenly started to rise in my chest. "Yeah, I hope you don't mind. I know it's really short notice."

I hear her laugh lightly, which settles my nerves. "Of course I don't mind! Send me your flight information so I can track you, and that way I'll know what time to leave so I can pick you up."

"Thank you Mom. You're the best." I whisper, trying to ignore the tear that's rolling down my cheek.

"Are you okay?" she asks, which makes my eyes water even more. "You sound like you're crying."

"I'm fine Mom, I promise." I respond with a sniffle, and curse at myself in my head when I hear my voice crack.

"Dean Michael, don't lie to your mother." she scolds. "I know you, and you're definitely crying right now. What happened?"

I let out a deep sigh and wipe my eyes quickly. "I'll tell you when I get home Mom, I promise. All I'm saying for now is that I just need to be away from there for a while."

As I try to take some deep breaths to calm myself down, I hear my mom's comforting voice come through my phone. "Okay, we'll talk when you get home. Have a safe flight my boy. I love you very much."

I end the call and place my phone on my lap, then close my eyes and swallow the huge lump in my throat.  As I feel the plane take off, I only have one thought in my brain. Escaping my problems instead of facing them is not the smartest idea, but at least I'm going to a place where I'll be able to figure something out and eventually take action.