Miss You More

Chapter 26

Jen and Anabella were at the mall to do Christmas Shopping. There were a few things that Anabella wanted to get for Joey this Christmas. She was also including a stop at Victoria's Secret for some Holiday Lingerie.

"So, did you talk to Jordan?" Ana asked her, rifling thru a couple of sets of lingerie.

"No... I haven't had the guts," Jen said.

"SO when are you supposed to meet him?" Ana asked, holding a couple up that she liked.

"Tonight, at my place...." she sighed, as she gave her the thumbs up for the outfits she was holding up.

Anabella decided on the outfits and went to a table to look at some thongs. " Do you plan on fucking him before ending it or are you going to actually talk to him when he gets there?" she asked her friend.

"I have to talk to him, I can't keep doing this, but I think it's better to talk face to face..." Jen said.

"Uh huh," Ana said raising a brow, "It doesn't sound like it's going to be easier.

" What makes you say that? " Jen asked her. Anabella stopped a black thong in hand and turned to look at her friend," Because you always seem to wind up in bed with him instead of talking," she said.

"That's not totally true.." Jen said sheepishly, looking at the lingerie set beside the thong bin.

"If you say so," Anabella said and found a couple of pairs of thongs she liked in her size and some G-strings too.

"I will try okay? Having sex with someone I'm in love with when they don't love me, it's not healthy.." Jen said.

"I know it's not," she said softly," That's why I'm worried for you." She looked at her friend," You need to move on from him. Find a guy who will love you back."

"I thought I had in Seth, but I couldn't even be faithful to him. I really hurt him when I told him what happened that first weekend in Florida," Jen said.

"You can't make yourself love someone. You have to fall in love, you need to give yourself time," she said. Jennifer picked out one lingerie set and the girls headed for the register to pay for their items and then go so Anabella could get gifts for Joe.

"So any idea what you're going to get joe?" Jen asked.

"Yeah I have a few ideas," she said after they had paid and headed out to other stores in the mall.

"Okay, I may have to figure out what to do about Jordan's, it's already paid for," Jen said, "So I may have to just take up guitar lessons when it's being made...."

" Yeah I'm not sure it was a good idea to get him a gift if you guys weren't together," she said.

"I was kind of hoping it would change eventually, but again me and my stupid brain thinking you can change someone. You know me, jumping in with two feet and not thinking..." Jen said.

"That's why you need to slow down and take time to fall in love. Not rush to conclusions and jump right in," she said.

"I know I know, I was thinking, as dumb as it sounds, maybe I should talk to someone, professionally..." Jen sighed.

"It wouldn't hurt to work out your feelings and issues and whatnot to be better at your relationships and life or whatever it is that you are seeking," she said.

"I think that's what ill do. I'll end this with Jordan and call around to seek counseling on Monday," Jen said with a nod.

"I'm proud of you," she told her friend. They finished up shopping, had Starbucks, and promised to talk later.

~*~*~

Back at the house, Anabella was on her knees putting the wrapped gifts under the tree when Joe came home from his Dad's. He noticed the pink and white bag and the blue and white one beside Anabella," So I see someone did more than Christmas shopping?" he said reaching for the bags. She stopped what she was doing and turned to try and grab them back from him," Joe!" she squealed, she stood up reaching for the bags as he held them out of her reach," Can't you keep anything a surprise?" she asked annoyed. " Nope," he said and lowered the bag enough to fish out the holiday set from the bag ( not )

"Is this for Santa or me, Little Elf?" he asked with a smirk, holding up the red and white nightie with matching G-string.

"Well, for me not that you ruined my surprise..." she pouted.

now that*

"Baby doll, don't you know you can't hide things from me?" he asked her," and I'm kind of disappointed you're keeping this for yourself, wouldn't that be pretty lonely?"

"Not at all," she giggled, "I can be a naughty little house elf..."

"Sexy Elf on A Shelf. I like it," he smirked, dropping it back into the bag and handing her both bags. The other one was Bath and Bodyworks, heavy enough to indicate she had bought scented candles.

"Exactly, who knows where you might find her," she giggled.

"As long as once I find her, I can peel off that G-string, and then that nightie, I like my elves naked and wet," he said. She took the bags from him.

"If you insist," she smiled.

"You know you want to ride Santa's cock," he said, he leaned in to kiss her softly," Was that the last of your shopping Baby doll?"

"Yes Joey, the last of it," she smiled.

" I was just curious, you seemed a little stressed a few weeks ago that you hadn't finished up yet," he said smiling at his girlfriend. " I'm good now," she said leaning up to kiss him. **~* Jordan knocked on Jennifer's apartment door that evening after dinnertime.

She sighed, knowing it was him, so she went to answer in her flannel pajamas, nothing sexy or inviting, just her loungewear.

"Hey, come on in," she said, holding her door open for him.

Jordan was a little thrown off by her flannel pajamas as he entered her apartment," Uh hey," he said. She closed the door behind him.

"This isn't the um attire I was expecting Jennifer, but hey, I can work with it," he said, stepping toward her. She stepped back.

"No, Jordan, we have to talk. I can't keep doing this," she said to him.

"Baby, you love how things are. Why are you doing this?" he asked, reaching for her again," You worry a lot."

"No. Jordan, I love you, and it's too hard for me to keep sleeping with you when I want more." Jen said pulling away and putting her hands up.

Jordan sighed," Not that again," he said," We talked about that before. I thought you understood that we're a bad match," he said to her.

"I know, but I can't make the way I feel stop Jordan, I've tried, and being with you the way we've been, it hurts too much," she said honestly.

"If we end this now, I can't talk to you again," he told her truthfully," You're going to have to keep your distance. No showing up at shows as a surprise. No stopping by the studio to hear the track in progress," he said to her.

"You can't even speak to me? Why?" she asked confused, "You have no feelings for me, so why cut me off? we can't even be friends?"

"Jennifer. When have we ever been just friends? We were broken up and fell back into bed with each other. You don't want that, so being around each other will never work, you know that" he told her.

just* not just

"Okay, if I go to anything with Ana where the band might be present I will make sure Joe makes you aware...." she promised.

"Yeah, thanks. I should head home now," he told her," Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes and no," she said, softly, "I do because I know you'll never want more from me, but no because it hurts too much to say goodbye."

"I'm sorry. If your decision is no, then I should leave now," he said, turning to her door, pulling it open, and walking out of her apartment, pulling the door shut behind him.