Ripoff

The Ice Rink Incident

"Eight-ish months this time wow that's gotta be some type of record."

"Roy, please."

"Just saying."

Marth sighed and leaned his head back on Ike's shoulder, since that was the only other spot he could move it to without bumping into someone else. Whoever came up with the idea to stuff all of them into one car was an idiot and he desperately wanted to kill them (he was the one that came up with it). He tried looking out the window, but given that Zelda was sitting on Ike, and Pit was sitting on her, there was no way he could get so much as a glimpse. He groaned and proceeded to slam his head repeatedly into Ike's shoulder.

"Careful there, buddy," Ike said, "Don't wanna give yourself a concussion."

"I'm sure there's harder parts of you than your shoulder, I'll be fine."

He noticed Zelda smirking and snickering under her breath, nodding, while Ike just groaned and leaned back on his seat. Marth, meanwhile, continued to slam his head against his shoulder. He just wanted to go on a nice Christmas trip with his friends, hoping to have a nice time and perhaps continue to deepen their bonds. Fitting everyone in a single truck was certainly the worst way he could've gone about it, but surely, surely his fantasy would be fulfilled once they actually got there, right? Right?

Well, that skating rink certainly didn't look like the one he saw online. First of all, the one online looked like it was bustling with people. This one was completely empty. Not to mention, that one was closed off and pretty small. This was a lake, a gigantic one. He could even see a couple of fish swimming (?) around under the ice. Speaking of which...

"Is that ice... skate-able?" Claude wondered as he got out of the drivers seat to join the others at the edge of the lake.

"I don't know, but we're skating on it anyway, I did not get nearly suffocated alive just to go back home after doing nothing," Marth huffed as he sat on the snow to put his skates on.

"'Guess it's a good thing we have our own skates," Samus said as she did the same.

"Don't tell me you were thinking of putting your feet in shoes other people with fungus or something did?" Peach asked in slight disgust.

"I mean, don't you do the same thing at shoe stores?"

"...W-well-"

"I don't know how to skate," Lucina murmured.

"Do you know how to do anything?" Link smirked.

"Okay asshole, do you know how to skate?" 

"As a matter of fact, I do," Link said. "And I don't even need skates." And with that, he walked towards the lake and (carefully) took one step on the ice. After pressing on it a few times to test the thickness and seeing no cracks, he put his other foot on the ice, and almost slammed his head right into it, but regained his balance before anything awful happened. He could hear Lucina snickering behind him, at which he rolled his eyes, as he slowly and carefully propelled himself forward by pushing his feet against the ice. Soon enough, he was gliding through the ice with relative ease, smirking at Lucina with mockery while she glared at him.

"Well everybody, if someone falls, try not to slit their throats open," Robin warned, earning a weirded-out look from everyone. "And Palutena, no figure skating."

"Oh come on! Let me live my ice princess dreams," Palutena whined.

"You wanna decapitate someone?" 

"What is with you and slicing body parts off today?" 

"Skates are scary." 

Pit looked at the ice. The fish inside it looked back at him. He furrowed his eyebrows, while the fish remained with a poker face, its cold eyes staring right into Pit's soul. It could see his every thought, his every desire, even his deepest, darkest secrets. And then, it ran away with them, to spread them to its fellow fishkin.

"Uh, shouldn't the fish be dead?" Pit asked, backing away from the ice.

"I think they just freeze," Roy said as he skated around in circles nearby him. "Then they un-freeze in the spring, and they come back to live!"

"Then why did I just see a fish swim away?" 

Roy slowly slid into a stop, horror overtaking his eyes. He  looked up at Pit, his eyebrows furrowing, his jaw clenching. "...Uh oh."

They heard a crack and a splash soon after. They turned towards the sound, only to find Palutena halfway above the ice. Her hands were up in the air and her face contorted with pain as the icy water seeped into her clothes and touched her skin. Her face was already turning blue as she stuttered, "I-I sh-shouldn't h-have s-s-spun around s-s-s-so m-m-much."

Roy face palmed then turned to the rest of the group. "Oh, brother- IKE! PALUTENA FELL IN THE LA-" The sound of yet another crack interrupted him, followed by another, and another, and several more. Despite how insanely cold it was, Roy felt his entire body become covered with sweat as he looked down at the cracks that covered the entire lake. He looked at the others, see if anyone had noticed, but they were skating around merrily without even a clue as to what was happening. Their naivety disgusted him, their ignorance was the cause of his anger. He, carefully, stepped closer to Palutena. The step was gentle, quiet, it was almost as if he was levitating. And yet, the next thing he knew, the ice cracked one last time, and dispersed, sending everyone into the icy depths of... hell? Antartica? Doesn't matter, what does is the fact that holy shit they were all going to die. For a guy that was so associated with fire, Roy did not expect this to be the way he died. Though, he supposed it made sense since water puts out (some) fires. Well, if this is what fate decided for him, then so be it. 

At least, he would've thought that way, if it weren't for the fact he was pulled out of the water almost as soon as he touched it. But the damage had already been done, the trauma was already there, and he would never recover. He was carried by magic over the shore of the lake, where all the others were floating towards too. Zelda seemed to been the one in control of this rescue, as she was the only one standing with her hands out, a golden light coming from them, the same light that covered the others. From the looks of it she had fallen in too, given that her clothes were wet up until her waist. She was muttering something to herself, probably about how much she wanted to kill Marth, but Roy didn't care much. Not when he was still afraid of getting pneumonia. 

Once Zelda had safely levitated everyone back onto land, they all looked at Marth, glaring, as if this was somehow his fault. He ignored them, looking as far away as he could, knowing that this could've been avoided if he had done a little more research. 

And that, everyone, is why you should always do your research before doing something. And also, don't make stupid decisions.