Ripoff

Drag Qweens

A/N:

cough just a quick self-promo, I put out the prologue for my AU

Just incase you didn't see it

uwu

Kay bye bye

-Em :)

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The drag life ain't easy. You gotta be confident, you gotta be dramatic. You gotta be a qween. The make up has to be exaggerated, the wigs have to be big, the eyes have to look small. The dresses MUST be exaggerated. Let's get the show on the road, shall we?

Peach walked upstairs, walking up and down the hallway knocking on all the boys' rooms. She could hear them all groaning and whining and it just made her want to slap all of them, but they all came out eventually. She got to the last room, Roy's. She'd knocked a couple of times, but he wouldn't come out. She knocked harder. She heard something through the door, so he definitely was awake.

"I'm busy," came his response.

"Doing what?" Peach asked.

"... something."

"Yeah, what?"

"White seed."

"Oh- ew. Okay just hurry up and come downstairs." 

"Nya-hah."

Peach gagged, walking to her room and getting everything she needed from her vanity. She walked back downstairs, smiling when she saw all the boys there, and gagging slightly when she saw Roy. Roy smirked and stuck his tongue out, returning to his conversation with Shulk. She laid everything out on the table in front of them, smirking as horror grew on the boys' faces. 

"What are we doing?" Link asked.

"Oh nothing," Peach sighed.

"Oh we're doing something, don't lie to me," Link said.

"Okay, we're doing something," Peach said.

"What?"

"Something."

"Can you be specific?"

"Can you not be an asshole?"

"That's impossible," Ike said.

"Shut up Ike," Link said.

Peach groaned, shaking her head. She finished setting up the make up and walked back to her room, getting dresses and wigs from her closet. She laid them down on one of the armchairs, being extra careful not to wrinkle them. She stood up proudly and looked at her crowd of horrified boys and interested girls.

"Those are seven dresses," Robin said.

"And there are seven boys," Shulk added.

"We're doomed," Pit said.

"And we're excited!" Palutena cheered. "Are we making the boys into drag queens?!"

"Indeed! I was watching RuPaul's Drag Race last night, and I just had to," Peach said, turning to the boys, who were not so sneakily trying to walk away. She glared at them and they all returned back to their seats.

"I don't wanna do this," Pit said.

"This is like that time we were kidnapped," Robin said.

"But worse," Ike added.

"Shhhh, look at me and raise your chin," Peach said. She put her hand under Ike's chin and raised it forcefully since he wouldn't. "Your skin is so smooth, boy how?"