Ripoff

A la playa amigos

"Chile BYEEEEE the way that it's fall right now."

"Marth... the fourth wall-"

"Ike, honey, I know you're a good boy, but that shis doesn't exist no more."

"I know but can you at least honor its memory?"

"No❤️."

Ike sighed and grabbed the last of the mats from the trunk of their car. The crew had arrived at Isle Delfino not too long ago. Nothing too bad happened during the flight, aside from Robbo's motion sickness and the constant fear of the death. But that was just the usual at this point. While the adults were unpacking everything and taking it to the beach, the children sat around being lazy little bastards playing their little internet games. Fools. Do they not know those games will only cause them harm?

"I LITERALLY SAW YOU VENT!"

"I don't know, Pit, you acting kinda sus right now."

"ROY I SWEAR TO LADY PALUTENA I'LL- Shulk please believe me."

Shulk just stared. Finally, the spot light is on him. After being forgotten for so long, he'll finally have a chance to talk. And now, he would speak words of wisdom, words that would enlighten everyone.

"I think it's Pit."

"YOU-"

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　　ﾟ Angel boy was not An Impostor.　 。　.

　　'　　　 0 Impostors remain 　 　　。

　　ﾟ　　　.　　　. ,　　　　.　 .

The victory screen played on Roy's phone.

"Sick."

"Shulk I hate you."

"Angels aren't allowed to say 'hate.'"

"I know, lady Palutena will probably make me chew on soap but it's worth it."

"Hey, I know you guys are kids but would you mind helping?" Claude asked. The three little boys groaned and stepped out of the car and simultaneously walked over to the rest of the gang to help.

Meanwhile, in Palutena's world,

"I wanna get my pussy ate by a pretty girl."

"Oh my Naga."

"Luci, won't you eat my pussy?"

"Seggs is awkward. Like how do you even start? How do you end? What do you say when you're done? Do you high five or something?"

"You just get in a mood, you know?"

"No."

"Ugh, I really have to explain everything, huh?" Palutena said. Lucina nodded. "Okay well, there's just mutual agreement. Like you get in a mood, ask each other for consent, then boom. You get your pussy ate."

"What about after."

"You compliment each other."

"Like 'omg babe your pussy tasted soooo good.'"

"Sure."

"Ew."

"Not ew, it's love."

"Yeah, still ew."

"You'll understand some day."

"No I don't think I will."

"Suit yourself."

Back in unpacking land, little DimDim offered to take everything from everyone's hands. With his super strength or whatever he wouldn't get tired easily, so carrying a bunch of stuff is easy for him. All he had to do was make sure it didn't break. Sometimes he just can't control his strength. Which is way, to make sure the least amount of things were broken, he decided to take one item from each person. Whether it be a towel or a chair, he offered the carry it for them. Most of them declined after things started piling up in his arms, but he was persistent. Now that he had taken something from everyone else, only one person remains. Peach, the most difficult foe on his path of helpfulness. She still didn't like him, even though they'd been living together for months. And now it was time to make things right with her.

"Peach, would you like me to carry your purse?" Dimitri asked gently. He didn't want to scare her, so he offered his most genuine smile. It still creeped her out though.

"No thanks," she said quickly.

"Please, I insist."

"What if you drop it?"

"I promise you I won't let anything happen to it. My left hand is still free, so I'll be carrying it around safely."

She still looked uneasy. The idea that this sweet person would become an absolute monster in his future was what scared her the most. "My answer is still no, I don't need you."

"I'm just trying to help-"

"I SAID NO!" Peach screamed. She quickly covered her mouth, realizing the tone of voice. She glanced over to Dimitri. Immediate guilt hit her. He looked a little heartbroken, not because of love, but because of something else and she couldn't pinpoint it.

He smiled sadly. "...I understand. I'll keep my distance from you, so don't worry."

Noooo now she felt really bad. The guy's just trying to help. He hasn't turned into a monster yet and shows no signs of doing so, so what the hell is her problem with him?

She sighed. She walked up to Dimitri and put her purse around his head and before he could even respond, she ran away swiftly. He was shocked, that's for sure. But a bubbly feeling of happiness settled within him. He tried to hold back a smile but he couldn't at all. He had earned a bit of her trust, and that was enough for him. For now, at least.