Ripoff

Cruise, Day 1: The Cruising

a/n: I've never been on a cruise before and never will

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The crew stood in front of the massive ship, its hull facing them. It had all sorts of marine life decorated on it, all in an eerily realistic style. It was kinda terrifying, to be honest. It was so big. Too big. What's the need for it to be so damn big?

"Why are we here?" Marth asked.

"Obviously because it's too damn cold back home and we need some sunlight to make our miserable lives a little brighter!" Peach said, smiling.

"You've turned a lot more morbid Peach," Samus said.

"Quarantine made us all a little crazy right?" Peach grinned, putting her sunglasses over her eyes.

"But we didn't-"

"Shut up."

"Aren't we in Isle Delfino? Peach, you better not get any ideas," Claude smirked.

"First of all, you weren't even there, second, if you guys keep pestering me, maybe this cruise will turn into a bloodbath!" Peach said, still smiling. They shut up. "Anyway, welcome to the new and improved Queen Peach!"

"I still don't get why we're here all of a sudden," Marth said.

"Because fuck you that's why," Peach groaned. She grabbed her suitcase and waved her hand over her head. "Let's go everybody! This thing's leaving soon and I wanna sleep."

Lucina looked at the hull. It was so close. If she reached out, maybe she could touch it. I mean sure they were at the very edge of the dock and the raging sea was beneath them so if she falls she's practically dead, but yolo right?

"Don't," Palutena said, grabbing Lucina's wrist just as she began reaching out. "You're gonna die."

"But I wanna know how it feels," Lucina whined.

"It feels like metal, you're welcome," Palutena said, dragging her away.

"This trip is gonna be horrible," Robin groaned.

"Relax, I packed your anti-motion-sickness medicine," Zelda said as she patted his back.

"That stuff has no effect on me anymore. I'll just suffer, alone, in our room, in misery," Robin sighed. "I just hope our room doesn't have windows in it. If I have to look out at the raging sea, especially at night, I'll jump off the boat."

"I'm half sure every room has a balcony, or a window at least," Ike said.

"Well shit."

As they boarded the cruise, they handed in their tickets to the pianta that stood by the entrance. The inside of the ship was decorated with all sorts of browns, reds, and golds, with a bunch of staircases leading to different parts of the ship. There weren't as many people as they expected, but to be fair they had gotten here early. Surprisingly. They then decided to split up and go to their rooms and unpack. Four of them would one room, with Marth, Samus, Peach, and Claude in one, Palutena, Link, Lucina, in another, Sheik, Zelda, Ike, and Robin right next to them, and finally, Pit, Roy, Shulk, and Dimitri in the last.

Poor Dimitri, while he did volunteer to be the one to stay with the kids, he regretted his decision the moment they entered the room. Somehow, within the first ten seconds of entering, the sheets on one bed were already on the floor, one of them had stripped to put on a swimsuit, and the only sane one had actually put his things in the small closet in the corner of the room. To Dimitri, this was going to be hell, he knew that already. But he's gone through worse, he could handle this. Right?