HE IS HELL

Chapter ten

Chapter ten

The next day was pretty quiet as I entered college, today being July 9th, Matthews' birthday – having to be there before 9 am was a drag. I definitely wasn't an early bird. The halls were thankfully empty, the odd tired student passed by me but both of us were far too monotonous to greet one another. I left through the back of college – reaching the designated smoking area. It was chilly, the smoke from my cigarette disguised by the cold air. Matthew hadn't messaged me, I knew he was awake due to his work schedule, starting at 8:30 am. I couldn't quite work him out, he seemed irritated – maybe I was just overthinking the situation. I didn't want to message just in case. Shaking my head, I turned to rubbing the lit end of the cigarette against the brick wall, the ash flying beside my face; in that moment, I couldn't care about the slight burn on my fingertips, I was sad and slightly hurt. My mind wouldn't allow the situation to rest.

Walking to class I checked my mobile once more – sighing with the lack of a message. I decided to just ignore the situation and focus on my latest art piece; a woman trapped in a pile of torn roses with autumn leaves. The meaning behind it was unknown, whether it's because I'm a depressive young adult still stuck in her teenage emo mindset or because I just like the idea, I'll never know. Looking around the classroom that consisted of thirty-two students, the tables were gray with many paint marks and the ceiling beams were present in a thick red. I shivered, the room felt like an ice cube most of the time.

A couple hours had passed when my mobile buzzed, I debated whether or not to look or if I should just ignore it for the next hour until break – it wasn't long before curiosity killed the cat. It wasn't the text I had wished for but, it was a text I was happy to read.

From: Tristan

I'm in college today. I saw you this morning, meet me for lunch?

It had been less than 24 hours since we last met yet, I did miss Tristan a lot. It felt as if we were two peas in a pod, separated unwillingly, searching for the other. Even if it was just as friends. I texted him back, agreeing to meet as I quickly hurried my art work, I needed to finish most of it by today. Working with pencils and acrylics bothered me, I much preferred biro and watercolors. Using a rigger brush I dipped it into the auburn paint tracing it along the womans' feet to accentuate the autumn leaves and dirt. It looked OK so far, the woman's skin was a pale brown however I needed to add much more shadows to really pinpoint the focus on her.

The next 45 minutes quickly flew by as our teacher dismissed the class. My nerves gnawed at my stomach not only because of Tristan but more so the cafeteria, I knew it would be packed with hundreds of students by now. We met at the coffee section, myself ordering an iced coffee while Tristan had his own shake pre-made for working out. His tall frame made it easier as he walked in front of me, leading the way out of the college – students allowing him to pass with a nod of their head as a greeting in respect. Tristan wasn't well-known, however just one look and his dominant aura was enough to know – respect this man. We made it outside the front of college, walking over to the field just opposite of the entrance; sitting under one of the many trees.

I enjoyed every part of nature but there was something about being near the trees that made me feel at peace with myself. An odd numbing possessed my body and mind each time I closed my eyes and rested my head against the bark. I could feel Tristan beside me, relaxing against the tree – his breath coming out in shallow bursts. I felt like a goddess stuck in my own fantasy – until my mobile buzzed. Opening my eyes I squinted at the harsh sun, pulling out my mobile, debating on whether to open it or not.

"What's the matter, don't want to answer?" Tristan asked, his gunmetal eyes peeking at me from under his black eyelashes. My breath caught as I shook my head, flicking the lock-screen open and reading the message.

From: Matthew

Hey babe, how's your day going? I can't wait to see you. I'll be on my way down soon. Xxx

To say I was confused was an understatement. Should I mention yesterday or was I just thinking too much into it? I decided to just ignore it for now, answering him back with the same excitement.

"Katherine?" I jumped, far too focused on the situation. "Sorry. What were you saying?" I asked back. I wanted to ask for Tristans' advice but at the same time, I didn't want a small mishap to seem so huge.

"I didn't say anything. What's the matter? You seem a little annoyed." He asked with such concern in his voice, I felt guilty to lie to him. Smiling, I looked at him - "I'm fine, just tired today. My latest art piece is really taking it out of me."

Within minutes we were both laughing at a scene in one of many movies Tristan had watched, him explaining the differences between some producers and the actors. I always found his fascination for movies interesting, the way his eyes would sparkle or how the corners of his mouth turned up as soon as he started to speak about them. It was incredibly sweet, bitter sweet too. I often wished to find something I had interest in. We continued to chat over coffee until lunch had ended, while Tristan walked to class I decided to leave for the rest of the day and hop on the nearest bus home, knowing I had to get ready to go to Matthews'.

By time I reached home, the house thankfully quiet; I felt so incredibly tired from my mind. I knew I couldn't rest, I needed to leave so I quickly packed my bag and jumped in the shower, using the noise to drown out any unwanted thoughts. Minutes passed as I stood under the running water, focusing on the way the droplets cascaded around my feet – I felt rather numb, silly and above all annoyed. I wasn't sure where this emotion had sprung from as I shook my head once again, a desperate attempt to force myself back into reality. The urgency in me nitpicked at my thoughts, helping me to leave the warm prison and get dressed.

As I left, I messaged Matthew and put my headphones on turning the volume up to full. I still wasn't sure how to feel about the incident with Matthew and I – something, something very small warned me to be cautious.

But I knew, with my new found love, I threw caution to the wind.

It was late by the time I reached Matthews' house, his presents placed neatly in the birthday boy bag as I grew excited for him to see them. Matthew quickly saw me through the kitchen window, walking out onto the balcony with his arms wide open – I didn't want to mention the Tristan incident, deciding to leave it for today with it being his birthday.

"Babe!" He called out excitedly, eyes looking at the bag. "Are they my presents?"

Just like a kid on their birthday. I nodded, opening the gate of the balcony. "That they are, let me get in and you can have them." Within moments we were sitting on the couch, Matthew sat comfortably, eager to open them. I laughed at his excitement, gesturing for him to start.

The fist present he had was a personalized lighter that read 'To Matthew, Happy 21st Birthday. I love you. Kat x x' The second was a Lego set of the latest builds, the third, fourth and fifth being items of clothing and a Lego bar of soap. The smile on his face was something that would stop my heart, he was content and happy – because of me.

As evening came, we placed an order for pizza, Matthew already prepared with two beers as we sat together, watching Red Dwarf, enjoying the time we had.