Survive

Chapter Thirty

Los Angeles, California, U.S.A.

October 21, 2022.

Madison Stone's Point Of View.

I walk through the streets on my way to the hospital while trying, unsuccessfully, to stop crying. My life was already not good, but after what happened today, it is much worse.

Some people pass by and look at me, probably curious to know what happened to me.

I start to think about how hard this week has been for me. It has happened all at once, giving me no time to even take a breath and try to think that tomorrow will be a better day.

And the worst part is that this week is seeming to last a month because of how slow it is going by and how many things are happening.

I remember my father, who I haven't seen since the day he left home, making me really think that I will only see him again if he still lives here and I meet him around.

I think that even though my father did not love me, I never stopped loving him, but I think I stopped loving myself little by little, because I forgot for years to be who I wanted to be in order to try to be what I thought he wanted me to be, because I felt that being myself, I was not worthy of his love.

I feel the feeling of pain and guilt grow inside me, as I remember that the last words Anthony said to me that day were "I love you" and that I was so sad for I've said these same words to my father and he didn't say them back to me, that I didn't answer him.

I also feel guilt for having remained silent, for not having been able to move the moment Alexander put his hand on me. Even though I know that it wasn't my fault that my body paralyzed, I still feel guilty for not having done anything.

I remember Andrey, and for the first time thinking about him brings me not joy, but pain. I can't believe that he cheated on me, because from the moment we kissed at the dance, he always showed that he really liked me, but with all these bad things happening lately and the fact that Sarah had his cell phone with her when I called, I really can't doubt anything.

But if this is true and he leaves me to be with her, it will hurt a lot to see the person I love with another girl.

I stop in front of the hospital, wipe away my tears, take a deep breath and go in, going straight to the bathroom to wash out my mouth and get this horrible taste out of it.

I go to one of the sinks in the bathroom and rinse my mouth out thoroughly, leaving the bathroom shortly afterwards and putting a mint bullet in my mouth.

I sit down on one of the reception chairs to wait my turn to be attended, since today there are more people here than other days.

After some minutes, I am allowed to go seeing him, so I go to the room and come in, sitting down where I am sitting every day, only this time, I don't take his hand, I just look at him, lower my head and take a deep breath.

"Anthony.. please talk to me. I need you.. please say something," I lift my head and look up at him, seeing that he is the same way he was when I arrived.

If I could change the past, I would not have let him go to help my father that day and he would not be in this situation.

"Your Miss Stone is missing hearing your voice."

I give a small smile as tears stream down my face as I remember that I used to complain when he called me that because we were close enough that he didn't need to do that, but that now I would give anything to hear him say it again.

"Yeah.. I would like to apologize to you. I don't know if you remember, but the day you had the accident, before you left home, you said you loved me and I was so sad about the fact that my father didn't love me.. that I didn't realize that I did receive paternal love from the guy who really always loved me as a daughter," I say and take a deep breath.

It is so emotionally draining to talk to a person you love and know that they will not respond to you.

"I always complained about my father's absence. I always complained about not receiving his love, but I never realized that I was already receiving this love that I wanted so much.. I received it from you. You acted like you were my father. You were my father all those years, but I was so focused on Richard that I didn't realize it."

Tears fall from my eyes and I no longer make a point of holding them back or even drying them.

"It was you who deserved to have heard my 'I love you'. It was always you.. so please, hold on and get better soon, because I need you and I want you here with me," I lean my head on the side of his hand with hopes that he will stroke my hair and say that everything will be okay.

I stay like this for a short while, because I hear one of the devices on the side of his bed start beeping uncontrollably, causing me to get up startled.

"HELP, PLEASE! SOMEONE HELP!" I scream in desperation and the doctor and nurse rush into the room, going to check the devices that are connected to Anthony.

"Get the defribilator. Quick!" The doctor speaks and the nurse takes the object, while I cry uncontrollably.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING?" I ask and she looks at me seriously, but also kindly.

"He is suffering cardiac arrest," she says shocking the paddles of the device into each other and then immediately pressing them into his chest.

"WHAT?"

"Karla, get her out of here," and my desperation increases when the nurse comes to me.

"Honey, come with me," and I deny again as more and more tears fall from my eyes.

"No. I can't leave him here dying."

"I'm sorry, but we need you to leave so we can try to save him," she gently holds my arm, leading me towards the door, but seeing that I don't give in, she holds it tighter.

"ANTHONY, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!" I scream, letting my emotions speak louder as the nurse leads me out of the room.

She pulls me out of the room and closes the door, leaving me in the hallway desperate to know what is going to happen to my friend.