The Cards You've Hidden, Been Dealt & are on the Table

Chapter Nineteen-Lilliana

A belated happy holidays to all. I wanted to do this sooner but I've been sick.

Hey guys, this is the song I was kind of imagining them writing now except when I wrote this I was remembering it a bit differently than it was. The old song if anybody you remember I was trying to write myself but I suck at that. So if anyone actually wants to try to write something for me let me know and I'll feature it along with letting get some say in the story and some spoilers maybe if you want any. This song though is "Best I Can" by Art of Dying

Arthur's note at the end like usual. I wanted to give you guys something so here is part of the chapter I had up.
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"Hahmmm," the yawn is heard from beside me.

Eventually, despite our best efforts last night. Our sleep was not undisturbed. Lulu was shaking last night having minor thrashes as I comforted him while he slept since he wouldn't wake up. Eventually though he snapped out of it and woke up a little startled and shaken up.

Once we got him calmed down he asked about my own sleep to which I replied that I woke up from my own memories about five minutes before he started to move about.

That well known twin theory where one twin feels and does the other will reciprocate is all too often uncannily correct. I guess when bonds are forged and tested as closely and roughly as ours has been there is bound to be a union between our actions.

Neither of us could get back to sleep, nor did we really want to.

It is now 8:12 in the morning and neither of us feel like crawling out of where we are curled up in bed especially with only getting roughly two hours sleep.

We have our book and Lu's journal in front of us both keeping us occupied. We've decided to take a slightly different approach to our song and are doing a kind of re-write about working through the mental aspects of what we've been through in a way. While we've kept our original song idea and saved it for looking at later we decided to look into this idea now.

Sometimes we find it is best to leave an idea untouched for awhile while playing with a different one because obviously that idea was being forced and our hearts weren't into it. We could make it better at a later date.

"What do you think of this coupling here?" Lucas snaps me out of my thoughts.

"I think it's good but maybe we should move it to the intro." I murmur as I look over the page, analyzing the words and thinking over what I could do for the instrumental side.

Lu looks over the lyrics on the page pondering the idea. "Yeah, I think you're onto something but only after the first one." I agree and we move on. "What are you thinking for the melody?"

"I'm thinking something repetitive but kind of catchy...monotonous like the way of living in this state of mind. You don't realize what is going on and how to break it until you realize you're stuck in it and realize you need to break free and do it your way." Lu nods and doesn't disturb me knowing I'm in processing right now and my mind is in a world of notes and instruments.

"How about we have at the end where we seem to have some development and confidence growing? We make the instruments bolder and have crescendos in both the voice and instruments; show that there is strength and confidence building, resilience." I'm starting to picture what I can imagine as I scribble some notes on the side of the page for music with some key words to remind me of the feeling I'm going for.

I should say that I am attempting to scribble these down as the cast on my hand makes it difficult. Lulu however catches on to what I want to do and snags the pencil to do it for me.

When he's done I hum in approval, glad we think alike and that he knows where I'm going with things. This cast has become annoying and I haven't even had it on for that long.

We continue writing and spitballing back and forth. Neither of us mention the reason for us being awake right now as we have already been there if one of us felt the need to talk or do something. If we need to we will but otherwise it's unnecessary at the moment.

We've heard some shuffling in the hallway and people talking near our door but no one has made any attempts at knocking or purposefully disturbing us.

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Hours have passed and it is now around two in the afternoon. There has been more noise by the door than usual. I can only guess it is because we have made no appearances outside of this room.

We've eaten well while with our brothers but both unfortunately for us in our long term and overall healthwise state and fortunately in our in the moment state this short period we have been with them has not been enough to affect our emaciated bodies. At least enough to make us feel hungry at the moment and the need to leave this room for the sake of hunger. We still feel the presence of food from last night where we ate as much as we could.

However, I don't think the boys may remember all that exactly due to their pacing. I've heard a murmur once or twice through the door that sounded food related.

We have now switched to reading our book, Lu enjoying it despite having just read it himself. We are currently snuggled together, him holding the book, due to my bum hand. At first I was reading and he was going through his journal when we decided to take a break but then he grew interested in the book again and began to read it aloud.

Lu turns the page and stops for a moment before speaking. "Ana?" I look up to my twin curiously, "do you think they will find out what happened with Lekas?"

I can't say I'm completely surprised by this question because I've been wondering the same thing.

"I don't know Lu." I stop to think for a moment and then continue, "we both know there will be no record of any of it. However, they've admitted to being in the mafia and that comes with some big leverage and we don't know how far they are willing to go to get any information. If they do dig into our past we also don't know how deep they will go."

Lu pauses for a moment before he hums an agreement. His arms tighten around me and I hug him back needing to feel love from my twin as reassurance to bring me back from memories that are starting to creep in.

"I think by how they have acted so far they have already begun to dig. I already gave them Lekas name, I just hope they don't look in a way which might give something away and set something into motion that can get back to us."

"Alright."

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1102 Words    Edited

Hey guys sorry for the absence. Life has been crazy I'm not even going to go into it. I'd lost some inspiration and I haven't even really been able to write but if anyone still cares I wanted to give you an update and I feel terrible about it not being sooner.

Let me know if I should still bother. I chopped off the last little bit to save for the next chapter so I could get this out to you now.

Question of the Chapter:

Are hotdogs a sandwich?

My answer- by definition yes, in my mind no.

If you need anyone I'm here. You can reach me through my email at booksandmusicgirl27@gmail.com or private message me. I'm here if you need someone to talk to or a friend.

You are NOT alone