WALKING IN MY SHOES

53. Guilt

~Madilyn's pov~

My heart swelled with warmth when Zack stood up for me against Tiffany.
The tingling feelings I've been getting all week intensifying when I'm near him.

'But I won't allow this feelings...I can't '

To say I felt guilty when he walked away disappointed would be an understatement.

'Have fun on your date'

Those words were said with such venom that I felt poisoned by them.

I want nothing more then to grab his hand again and tell him that I want to go to his game this weekend... but I know I can't.

This is just not how things are supposed to be...I don't want him to know that I possibly have feelings for him and if I go to that game, it'll possibly grow... because first it's to his game then eventually we'll be hanging out then what happens when I fall for him and he finds some other pretty girl to be with.

Initially I thought after we swapped back to our own bodies that everything will go back to the way it was before...but fuck was I wrong.

'Never in a million years did I think that I would even consider liking Zack '

"Hey you okay?" someone asks snapping me out of my daze.

I look up and see the last person I would have ever thought to ask me that... Raymond.

"Yeah" I say skeptically.

"I heard what happened between you and Zack" he says

"Do you want something?" I ask sighing already tired and annoyed at the conversation.
'So what if he heard?... it's not like we were discussing top secret government information'

"He likes you and by the looks of it...you like him too" he says walking away leaving me dumbfounded.

*
*
*

The weekend came sooner than I expected it to and if I could I'd just stay cuddled up in my bed all day while I watch some Netflix series and getting fat on ice-cream I would.

But that's not on my list for today...oh no not even close... Today is my date with Ryan.

'And I would say I'm excited but that would be a lie...'

I'm being crushed by anxiety and crumbling with guilt.

'why?' you may ask...I also don't know but I'm mildly sure it has something to do with a certain blue eyed boy.

I shake my head as I decide to get up and get ready.

"Gettttt up sleeping beauty " Lexi shouts bursting through my room door.

" Already way ahead of you" I say in a dull tone holding my head feeling a headache stirring up.

"Good! now tell me how I look" she says jokingly posing infront of me already dressed for the game.

"You look good as always" I say lifting my head to inspect her outfit.
she's wearing a white high waist shorts and a football shirt which I'm guessing is Max's extra one, she also has her hair in a high ponytail and two lines of paint under eyes.

"I know right" she says flipping her hair mockingly.
I hum and get out of bed.

"Big day today...are you excited for your date?" she asks looking at me.

"Sure" I respond nervously.

'its not that I don't want to go out on this date with Ryan... it's just that I'd be alone(without Lexi)...well duh that how dates work but still...and this will be my first time on a date...if you don't count that one time Zack and I ditched Ryan'...not intentionally on my part.

"Then come with me" she says suddenly shaking my shoulders and pouting.

"I can't...I already have plans for today and you know that" I say chuckling .

"Ditch him, reschedule or just cancel " she says like it's that simple...and maybe it is, but I don't have the heart to go back on my word besides Zack already ditched Ryan that once, the least I can do is go on a proper date with him...I owe him that much.

"I can't do that lex...that would just be cruel." I say shaking my head.

"Fine,fine fair enough but just think about it because you don't look like you want to go" she says walking over to my closet and starts pulling out clothes.

"Yes I do" I say defensively.

"Yeah riiiiight" she says unconvinced dragging the word 'right' .

"I like Ryan... okay" I say but the more I say it, it's like I'm trying to convince myself instead of anyone else.
"I didn't say you don't... what's wrong?" she says seeing right through me.

"Zack asked me to his game " I say

"And you said no because you already had a date with Ryan." she says piecing two and two together.

"Yeah" I say sighing

'Damn these stupid boys making me overthink like this '

"Well whatever you choose to do I support you...Now let's get you something to wear for your date" she says giving a tight lipped smile.

She hands me a white vest and black high waist shorts with a floral black cardigan.

I must say she has good taste in picking out clothes.

I waste no time and finish everything else I need to do before I get dressed for my date.

Knock knock

"Lyn that Raisin guy is here to pick you up" Blake says refering to 'Ryan' after knocking on the door.

"Best to not keep him waiting...your parents are probably grilling the poor guy downstairs" Lexi says chuckling to herself.

"They probably are" I say smiling and deciding to be the night in shining armour and save Ryan, I make my way downstairs.

I put all my previous thoughts behind me and decide to just focus on my date with Ryan and make the best of it.

Wish me luck...

because I'm going to need it.

________________________________________
Hey everyone sorry for the very late update 😂
I'm back from the dead👀💀 and I have come to grace you with this boring chapter 😂👀.

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