WALKING IN MY SHOES

55. I really like him

~Madilyn's pov~

I sit opposite Ryan in a nice looking diner with warm colours and decorations but I don't have the pleasure to enjoy it as the atmosphere between us is a little awkward.

"So how have you been" he says clearing his throat.

"I've been good" I say but honestly the only person or thing that's been on my mind lately is Zack, and as embarrassing as it is to accept it... it's the truth.

Like now for instance, I'm wondering how his game is going, I wouldn't necessarily label myself as someone who enjoys sports but I have this feeling in my gut that tells me I should be there to support him.

As a friend atleast.

"What about you?" I say distracting myself from my thoughts.

"I've been good, better now because I'm here with you" he says flashing me one of his dashing smiles and normally it would be that smile that gets me weak in the knees but all I could think about was how Zack smiles at me when his being genuine...in a way I was comparing everything Ryan does to Zack.

"oh..." is all I say with a awkward little laugh.

"Hi, I'll be your waiter for today... what would you like to order?" says a waiter who comes up to the table appreciatively saving me from more awkwardness.

"I'll have a salad and glass of water...what about you Marilyn?" he says to the waiter then looks at me.

'Now there's nothing wrong with him having salad...but I would prefer a burger with fries and a milkshake on the side over that any day of the week...but for the first time in my life do I feel self conscious about that'

So out of what anyone would label as stupidness I say I'll have the same.
The waiter nods and scrabbles our orders down in his tiny note pad before walking off.

"oh wonderful you like salad too? We are the same" he says grinning.

'oh dear if only he knew'

We are the farthest thing from the same.

"So tell me about yourself" he says making me think of the game 20 questions. Zack and I have played it countless times and it always helps get to know the other person because you ask exactly what you want to know.

"Why don't we have a round of 20 questions?" I suggest, Ryan looks at me confused.

" A 5th graders game?... that's so lame" he says laughing making me uncomfortable. I laugh awkwardly aswell but honestly I don't understand what's so funny.

"That was a joke right?" he says calming from his laughter.

No

"Yeahhh" I say giving him a fake smile.

"You are a real jokester Madilyn" he says making me shift in my seat uncomfortably.

"What do you want to study in university?" he asks eagerly.

"I haven't decided yet" I say truthfully, he looks at me disapprovingly.

'Why is he looking at me like that, step back dude you're not my father'
I chase that thought away in order to get through the rest of this date.

"I'm going to study to be a doctor" he says proudly making me give him a fake tight lipped smile.

'good for him'.

The waiter comes back with our food and place's it before us, I thank the waiter but Ryan stops him before he leaves.

"This is not right, take it back... there's too many cucumbers" Ryan says in disgust looking at the salad.

What?

Too many cucumbers... like for real?... it's a salad...does he want one cucumber and an onion?...I think the salad looks just fine.

"Oh I'm sorry sir...I'll take that back for you-" the waiter starts but I cut him off by using my fork to take a few of the cucumbers out of Ryan's plate and moving it to my own.

"Problem solved...now please excuse me, I need to use the restroom"I say with a fake smile not giving a shit about anyone's response.

I make it to the restroom and close the door, honestly I just need some air...I look at my appearance in the mirror.

What the hell am I doing here?

This date is horrible... it's uncomfortable and it just feels like we are both forcing it.

I can't believe Ryan can be such a dick...or maybe it's just me...I don't know.

but what I do know is that if it was Zack sitting opposite me on this date, things would have gone very differently...it would have felt right.

He would have never judged me for what I would order...heck he would order the same.

And he would definitely not laugh at me for suggesting 'A 5th graders game '. And even if he did, I would argue or have a small fight with him.

'I actually miss our playful banter'.

I open the tap and use some of the water to splash on my face.

Ryan is a bit too... uptight for me?

Giving me disappointing looks because I don't know what I want in life as yet

Who is he to judge me?

My crush?... definitely not anymore.

So the question is what the fuck am I still doing here?

I know where I need to be

Knock knock!

"Madilyn, you've been in here for awhile the food is getting cold" I hear Ryan say from the other side of the door.

I'm done, I open the door and the words come flying out like a popped balloon. This was the last straw... salad getting cold... seriously?!.

"You know what Ryan?... it's a fucking salad so if you like it hot shove it up your ass...along with your hopes to become a doctor because I don't care... thanks for the date it was really... fucking terrible, but I have somewhere else to be right now... preferably at the school football game where I know someone who wouldn't mind playing a 5th graders game unlike your uptight ass...so bye" I say venting not giving him a chance to speak before I bolt out of the restaurant leaving a very shocked and confused Ryan behind.

So I might have embarrassed myself but atleast I spoke my mind.
I was being myself...not pretending to be someone I'm not as I did in the beginning of the date.

I don't really know what I saw in Ryan before but it probably has something to do with the fact that I didn't really know him.

Once I'm out of the restaurant I make a quick detour to the school...I know where I'm meant to be and at this moment it was at Zacks game.

I just hope I make it there in time... atleast to just see Zack play.

because...

I really like him.

________________________________________
Hey guys 👀✋
sorry for my lack of updates, This year school has been kicking my ass, I hardly have time to do anything.

My schedule is so tight I can't even fit enough sleep into it😭

anyways thank you all for reading❤️

Thank you to those that vote, I see everyone of your votes and appreciate your support dearly.❤️✨ʕ⁠っ⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠ʔ⁠っ

please enjoy this long overdue chapter... it's not one of my best...but I present you with chapter 55.👀 ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

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❤️❤️❤️~LEE