Why am I the star?//tsukasa angst//[DISCONTINUED]

I want to be a star...right?

Tsukasa POV:
"Saki....."
I sighed and bowed my head. The doctor left.
"Saki..I'm sorry." I whispered.
She didn't answer. Of course she didn't answer.
"But it's okay. I'm going to be a star. I'll make you happy again. Once I'm a star, you can smile all day and you won't be sick! I want to be a-" I hesitated.
"I want to be...a star. Yes. I want to be a star." Even so, I cringed at my own words. I want to be a star...right? For how long I have been wanting to be a star. Why was I hesitating now? Sure, I was doing it all for Saki. But I've changed.....right? I want to do WXS. I want to be on stage, center off attention....
I snapped back to reality. Of course I want to be a star, what am I thinking?! Ugh, I'll have to write this down in my notebook. Another mistake made.

--at home--
So much homework. Since I skipped half of school, there's some stuff I don't really get. It's fine though, I shouldn't complain. I guess I should get started...
~~~~
I check my phone. Wait, what?! 5AM? I swear I checked my phone a minute before and it was only 9:00PM....
Drowsiness hit me. And now I had school soon.
I quickly got changed and ate a hasty breakfast. Since I was the class rep, i have to get to school extra early.

At school, I could barely keep my eyes open. No one was at school yet, though, so that was good. I decided to eat some pills to help me stay awake. I went to the bathroom and took out the pills.
Suddenly I felt dizzy. How long did I stay awake? I swear I slept the night before, and It was only one night without sleep. Or was it? When was the last time I slept properly? Do I want to be a star? Can I be a star? Did I finish my homework? Did I eat dinner last night? If so, what did I have? My vision got blurry. Why couldn't I just remember? Why was my mind suddenly blanking?!
Why can't I remember
Why can't I remember
WhY cAnT I reMEmbER??

...

"I want to be a star."

Being a star is exhausting.

I tipped over and just laid on the bathroom floor. I wish I could just...pause time. Make everything just stop.

"What's gotten into me...why am I breaking up now after all these years so suddenly? I'm so dramatic and useless and pouty and...."

Nene POV:

Gosh, I hate being on the Discipline Committee, but Rui dragged me into it. Actually, he should be turning up soon. I was about to go into the school when I heard something. It sounded like....someone speaking? And it sounded like they were crying too. Oh, god.
I ran towards the direction of the voice. It was coming from the males bathroom. I couldn't step in, but I took a peak and....
"Tsukasa....?" I whispered under my breath. He looked horrible. In pieces, even. He was on the ground, his hair was messy, dark bags under his eyes. His eyes were puffy and red, but I didn't see any tears. The light in his eyes were gone, and he was mumbling something to himself. There were some kind of pill next to him. I gasped.
Suddenly he perked up.
"Is anyone there?" He shakily asked. He sounded like a terrified puppy. I quickly ran away. As I ran, I heard Tsukasa laugh a sad laugh.

"Great, now I'm going insane." I heard him say in the distance.

I ran faster. Right now, I needed to find Rui.

------
Well that was a angsty chapter 0-0
Hi so I'm losing motivation lol and Srry the titles don't really make sense but oh well. I'm losing ideas too. This is my first story and I didn't realize how long it took to write -_-
Anyways the post might slow down but I'll prob delete this anyways
Ok Ty