Why am I the star?//tsukasa angst//[DISCONTINUED]

Not Good Enough

WARNING: Blood/violence, suicidal thoughts

Tsukasa POV:
I ran over to the Wonderstage as fast as I could. No one should be at the park besides the other workers at this hour, since the park is closed.
As I walked down the path to the Wonderstage, I suddenly heard strange noises.....

Like voices.

I stopped in my tracks. Who was here? The rest of the troupe are still at my house, and even for the workers this is early.
I crept around the counter to see unfamiliar faces. They were tearing up the Wonderstage.

They were wearing school uniforms....were they from my school?!

I took in a deep breath and approached them.
"Hey, what are you doing?" I demanded of them. They turned around.
One of them whispered to the other and then they both laughed.
"Oh, are you Tsukasa Tenma?" One of them mocked. I was taken aback.
"Yes, why?" I replied cautiously.
They cackled even louder.
"HAHAHA! SO YOUR THE GUY EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT! Everyone says your loud and annoying, but I didn't expect you to defend this run down,waste-of-space stage! Or is it even a stage anymore?!" He gestured at the now torn stage.
I clenched my fist. These guys...why did they think this was ok?!
"Get out of here rats! You don't belong here!" I screamed at them. They stopped laughing.
"What did you call us?" One of them whispered. The next moment, a fist was at my face.

I tumbled backwards. What was up with these guys? First they tear up the Wonderstage, and then they punch me?!
My face hurt a lot. Luckily, nothing seemed too serious. The only thing broken was the wall that was containing my temper.
"You little-" the one who punched me started, but I was already on my feet. I threw a direct punch at the nose. While he was dazed, I lifted up my leg and kicked him to the side. For some reason, I smiled. It was kind of fun to let out my anger on some useless brat. I continuously punched the humans face side to side, till his face was a wreck. The other guy who was there could only watch in horror. At that moment, I didn't really care about anything.

It's not that I wanted to live, anyways.

"You better get out of here." I warned them, showing them a radio I got from the amusement park staff.
"I have every right to call the security on you, or maybe even the cops for trespassing and assault charge."
The one I punched was bleeding from the nose. The two trespassers got up and ran away.

It only took one look at my hands to realize what I had done.

They were covered in blood, and it wasn't mine.

My whole body started to shake for no reason.
"What's wrong with me?" I asked myself.
Tears started to well up in my eyes.
I could of sent that guy to the hospital. It would of been all my fault.
All my fault All my faultAll my fault All my faultAll my fault All my faultAll my fault All my faultAll my fault All my faultAll my fault All my faultAll my fault All my faultAll my fault All my fault

Those words kept on repeating in my head.
"SHUT UP" I cried, punching a wall of the Wonderstage. Pain went up my arm and throughout my body.
You deserve it.
You deserve it.
You deserve it.
You deserve it.

"WHY CANT YOU JUST SHUT UP ALREADY" I shrieked at myself again. I was a monster.

Why wasn't I good enough? Why couldn't I just be normal?

WhAt wAs WrOnG WitH mE?

I continuously punched the wall. Pain frizzled up my arm continuously, and I knew I deserved it.

Voices echoed in my head.

Your not good enough.
Your annoying.
Your too loud.
You mess up everything.
Nobody likes you.
You should just disappear.
Just disappear.