Nova is a recent law school graduate, clinging to her dream of becoming a sports lawyer through an internship with New York City's NHL team, hoping she can land a full time position. One problem though, the captain of the hockey team is someone she...
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"I didn't mean any of it."
Nova rolls her eyes at me, obviously not believing me. "Declan, at least be honest. I came here to have a real conversation with you, I don't want excuses."
I shake my head, "I'm not lying. I didn't mean anything I said in the locker room that day."
Tears spring to her eyes, and my stomach starts to bottom out at the possibility she never believes me. "The things you said... I don't think you'd be able to come up with those on the spot. You had to have been already thinking them. Saying you were only talking to me to get a good grade? And then saying I was a prude even though you were the one that wanted to take things slow?"
I place my head in my hands, cursing my younger self, "I was an absolute fucking idiot that was in love with you."
Her eyes widen, "What?"
"I was in love with you, Nova."
She just shakes her head, not believing me, "We knew each other for a handful of weeks. You don't love any girls beside your mom and sisters. You don't do girlfriends."
"I didn't do girlfriends, until you. That day, when I saw you in the crowd, cheering me on even though you had no idea what was happening, I knew I wanted you at every single one of my games. I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend, but then everything went to shit."
Denial still covers Nova's features as my words sink in, "But you're the reason it all went to shit. No one forced you to say those things about me."
"I know, I know. I never should have said any of that shit, I was an idiot and thought it was the only way to fix things."
Nova scoffs, "Fix what? My already damaged image of myself? Except you didn't fix that, only broke it more."
I lean closer to her across the coffee table, wishing I could touch her, make sure she knew that the way she sees herself is so different from the way I see her. She thinks she's a burden, but I could listen to her talk all day about the most mundane things, knowing I was the one she chose to tell them to. She doesn't think she's important to me, but I would do anything just to bring a smile to her face. I want to hold her and tell her how brilliant and beautiful she is, ridiculing anyone who made her think otherwise, including myself.
Nova sets her coffee down and squeezes her hands together to the point of having white knuckles. Seeing how much my words affected her kills; whoever said sticks and stones break bones but words won't hurt is a fucking liar. Sometimes it's not in your control how you feel about something being said about you, and the fact that this has stuck with her for so long tears me apart.
"No, I should have been building you up, not tearing you down. I'm so sorry Nova."
She looks me in the eye, not impressed, "You didn't answer my question. Fix what?"
