The Boyfriend Contract

Chapter Eleven

Old friends

Love was a feeling, not a decision, as I sat in one of the many engineering classes I regretted signing up for, I couldn't get Valentino out of my head. I was distracted and I haven't written anything since my class started a little over an hour ago. I am pretty sure I only had 15 more minutes before the class was over, but I had no intention of learning any material today.

I had no idea what was going on in my head, I don't think I love Val but I love the idea of him, the idea of having a boyfriend. It was impossible to love someone you had only known for two days. But somehow I still had feelings for him.

This is why Andre rejected me, he said I fell too fast, I remember the day he rejected me. It was always replaying in my head like one of my favorite TV show episodes. I like to think of it as a reminder to get off my high horse. I was 16 and naive and knowing that a human brain isn't fully developed until the age of 25 I was still naïve.

"Hey Andre, can I talk to you?"

I wore my favorite dress that day, Andre told me he loved how it looked, so it became my favorite. I just got off school, it was the last day before summer, and it was also the summer before my brother went off to college so I knew I had to tell him. I rushed to my room and fixed my makeup. I knew he was coming over, I overheard my brother asking my dad yesterday after dinner. 

"Yeah sure thing," my brother gave me a confused look as Dre walked over in return I gave him a nervous smile. I dreamt of this moment when I first fell for Andre Cooper, the moment I would tell him how I felt. We sat on the chair on the patio, we were alone and that was perfect.

"What's up D?" he leaned back, I remembered how he looked so effortlessly handsome and it felt as if my heart was going to burst out of my chest.

I released a nervous laugh and wiped my sweaty palms on my dress. I wanted my confession to be romantic the kind that you only see in movies. So being the most hopeless Romantic loser I was, I recited one of my favorite love poems to him. I reached for his hand and looked him in the eye. I like to tell myself that the look in his eyes was not fear but excitement. Now that I am looking back it was a bit awkward, maybe somewhat cringey.

"I may never find beautiful enough words to describe all that you mean to me, but I will spend the rest of my life searching for them. John Mark Green. I don't know if you picked up on what I'm saying, but I am so in love with you Andre Cooper and I can see myself loving you for a long time." I grinned from ear to ear proud of myself. What happened next was probably the worst I've ever felt in my life.

He just sat there, my smile slowly fading realizing what was about to happen. He pulled his hand from my grasp and stood up, "I have to go," I'd never seen him walk so fast before. So many thoughts crossed my mind, Did I do something wrong? It felt like I was sitting there for an eternity before I heard the door open, my sister was calling out to me. I felt like a complete idiot, I wasn't thinking, there was no way a 19-year-old would date a 16-year-old. But I thought he liked me.

I was beyond delusional, I remember when Mari came over kneeling in front of me, asking if I was okay but no words could escape, I broke down in my sister's arms that night. Kimani never once asked what happened between us, if I knew that was the last time I was going to see Andre Cooper, I would have never confessed to him.

I heard shuffling around me as students packed up their things, finally, this dreadful class was over. I headed for the door, I had to visit Professor Turner's office, and I needed to figure out how I was going to do this job that may or may not be an internship. I walked to the Arts and Science department where her office was located and it was like I was cursed or something because for the first since I'd been on campus, I saw Ji-Hoon. He was sitting outside the building reading.