Broken Valeria Garza x oc

Part 14: Carmens Internal Monologue

She's so hot 😩😩😩😩 anyways that's why I decided that this chapter should be like everything Carmen notices because she's funny. Atleast I hope she is

~ 2 days later~

I'm healed up and I can't be more happier. I'm upset that we'll have to leave the safe house soon, but I'm happy I can walk on my own. Valeria and I have been... Great. Like really great in all ways ;). I mean so great that I'm talking to myself in the mirror so I can let out some of my aggressive love because I'm scared if I don't scream into a pillow five times a day because of how pretty she is I might explode.

True story. I was sitting with Alejandro on the porch of the safe house and Valeria was fixing up the Car outside with Rudy right? Well she freaking bit her lip because of how focused she was and I nearly imploded. I literally had to grab Alejandro's arm and bite him. I got smacked on the back of my head for it but I couldn't help it.

Also Alejandro thinks that I don't see him staring at Rudy practically eye fucking him. I can't blame him though becauseee I mean my bestie is hot and he should treat Rudy like the Prince he is, but Alejandro's a pussy.

Anyways... that was yesterday. Today I'm sitting on a black beach chair watching Valeria help soap with moving weapons boxes. Poor Ghost he's struggling. I can see the questions and emotions on his face. I remember when I was questioning myself. I opened my purse that was next to my foot and grabbed a brochure. It was covered in little rainbows and it had "Am I Gay?"At the top in big letters.

I slid the Brochure over to Ghost without looking at him like I was dealing drugs. He turned to me but I continued staring ahead.

Carmen: you're gonna need it buddy.

I clapped him on the bag and he just opened it with a huff. The brochure is practically like an Am I Gay quiz. There's questions and you answer them and it's like a chart if yeses and nos.

After a few good minutes I heard a soft gasp and a slapping noise. I looked over to see ghost with the Brochure against his chest and his eyes are wide looking straight at me.

Carmen: it's alright. We've all been there.

I nodded my head showing I understand his feelings. I could tell he has even more questions now, but I'm not focused on him.

I'm focused on Valeria who has now stripped down to a sports bra and her obvious military pants. My breath hitched when I saw her sweaty figure picking up a box and focusing on making sure she doesn't drop the box.

I grabbed the pillow that was behind me and screamed into it. Valeria has been teasing me all week. She knows I want her, but she won't initiate anything unless I do it first. She knows what she's doing and it's honestly hot but it's making me very impatient.

Ghost poked me on the shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my skin. He stared at me with furrowed eyebrows probably wondering what the fuck is wrong with me.

Ghost: uhh what the bloody hell was that?

Carmen: I'm afraid that was a gay panick. You'll have one eventually. Probably when you see soap has his shirt off right now.

Ghost: fuckin' hell.

I watched Ghost's shift to soap and he looked mesmerized. I just left him alone to figure out his feels.

I stared out ahead just wondering how the fuck all of this has happened. I mean I got a great girlfriend, I'm somewhat mentally stable, my brothers are back in my life, Alejandro and Rudy are kissing- wait. What the FUCK! Alejandro and Rudy are KISSING.  Alejandro was pushing Rudy against a car hood and kissing him! Omg!

I didn't get out of my seat but I sure as hell stared them the fuck down. How is Alejandro going to kiss Rudy without my blessing? I mean I'm happy for them,but without my blessing? They are going to have bad luck now. I can't believe him. Welp I guess I give them my blessing from far away.

Carmen: ok so. Me and Valeria are a thing, Rudy and Alejandro are most likely a thing, so now we just gotta get you and soap together and we can go on triple dates in our free time.

Ghost: how do I even tell him I like him?

Carmen: that's for you to figure out. You gotta see what he likes and looks for in a person. You have to communicate your thoughts and feelings which I know is hard for you. I'm super proud of you by the way for talking with me about this.

Ghost: you're easy to talk too. You don't judge anyone unless they truly deserve it... like Graves.

Carmen: that son of a bitch! I hate him! Anyways.. thank you I appreciate your openness with me.

Ghost: I'm not the best at things like this.

Carmen: that's ok. I will help as much as I can even if I have to pretend to be soap's bestfriend and see who his crush is.

Ghost: you would do that for me?

Carmen: of course I would. We're gay besties whether you like it or not. I would give my life for you as well if it meant you and your team were alive.

Ghost: why? What is the point of giving people your life and kindness in exchange for nothing?

Carmen: well I'm a pawn. I always have been. One way or another I'm always being used, so I'm used to people using me and leaving. If Valeria were to be using me I wouldn't mind because for the moment she is showing me happiness and love and I'm ok with that. If she betrays me it will hurt later, but I live in the moment so I don't worry about later.

Ghost: how have you kept your heart in this awful world?

Carmen: pain only makes us stronger. That's what the scientists used to always say to me when I felt unsafe or I was about to go through serious pain.

Ghost: I'll always protect you Carmen. You deserve it after all you've been through.

Carmen: I'll always protect you too. Now for my first act of being your guardian angel I need to talk to soap.