𝐍𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐘𝐀𝐌 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓

011

Ghost by periprose on ao3

ʚ ✦ ♥︎ ∞ ☾ ɞ

The puddle grows larger as you stab it with your foot. Digging in your toes into the pale grains of sand, you watch as the little molecules of water begin to swirl.

You're deep in thought. You're wondering about your place in the world, and you see a tiny, baby tsiki- a reef tick or crab- emerge out of the sand . It pinches it's claws together- it's an extremely alluring green shade, and you point one of your turquoise feet at it.

It blinks all four eyes before suddenly seizing forward, click clacking and tutting before pinching your big toe.

"Ah, kehe! " You screech, meaning no, and you inhale, before kicking the tsiki off and huffing, wrapping your arms around yourself. Usually tsiki are meant to be gentle, not harmful- they often pluck sand out of your toenails and seaweed out of your curly hair- but this one is just a baby, and is clearly curious and weird. It scuttles away into the deep blue waters, and you sigh.

"Kanu." Tsireya stands before you, and she motions her hand in an oel-ngati-kameie, I-See-you gesture, before sitting down next to you on the knitted stringy material of the bridges connecting the marui, the woven structures that inhabit your village. You repeat the action. "Why did you leave? Lo'ak and Kiri are worried."

"Tsireya." You turn to your dearest friend- you've grown up with her, and she has always been comforting and sweet. She always knows just what to say.

But after the Sky People attacked the reef- after they practically flipped your world upside down, causing nearly permanent damage, you felt like you could've died in that moment. And even though that was scary, what really terrified you was that your life flashed before your eyes, and you could not think of anything notable, anything special about yourself. Nothing good, no sense of call or action.

Really just in the background at all times.

Tsireya, the sweetheart that she is, does not really always understand. She is beautiful- you see other boys in the tribe stare her down all the time, and it's not with the usual annoyance or indifference that they stare at you with. That, and she's very clever, and kind, and she's the daughter of the Olo'eyktan. She was always meant to be special.

You, on the other hand? The Metkayina daughter of two ordinary parents. They do not think less of you, in fact, they are always going on about how smart you are to stay back from danger, from anything that could put you in harm's way. But you do not do this on purpose- you just feel that you are already rather unimportant in the grand scheme of things, so what would be the point? To try and play the hero? Be someone that ultimately, you are not?

You can never figure out when to strike like Tsireya, Aonung and Rotxo seem to know. Your ilu is forgiving- she pulls you through the water at a pace you're good to deal with- but forget hunting. You do your best.

You are not pretty. Your hair stays pulled back unappealingly in a braided bun, and your bangs are straight and wispy. Your eyes are always skeptical, which you know throws many off. It's not that you can't smile and play nice- you just like to figure people out.

But to know how you look, how you just... lack the attractiveness that Tsireya seems to exude so easily, it hurts you. Especially when you feel like you like someone, and they could never feel the same about you, because you're just impossibly awkward.