Too Young To Try

Adjusting

The next month was ok at my moms. The first day of school was when it really sunk in that that's where I was going to live for a long time.

The first day of school was like any. Met one person who let me sit with them at lunch.

The next day was completely different. I met a guy named Joe.

He was amazing. We just had a connection. It felt like we've known each other for years. I liked him.

I had to tell Morgan about him and how I felt turmoil, and conflicted.

"I feel like we need a break Morgan. I need to figure myself out." I felt my heart sink after the words left my lips. I knew this wasn't the right choice. I knew Morgan was the one for me. But I didn't listen to my heart.

"Alright, I'll miss you." I could hear that he was on the verge of tears.

"I'll miss you too." At this point I was crying.

I pushed the END button.

For the next couple days I just hung out with Joe and attempted (and failed) to keep my mind off of Morgan.

That day I went to school and told my friend Hailey goodbye and that I was going to kill myself.

"Rachel, Mrs. Johnson wants to see you." Said Mrs. Salazar my English teacher.

"Alright."

As I walked out the door all I could think was 'what did I do'?

When I walked in the counselors office she asked me to close the door, so I did.

"Rachel, a few select girls told me some things."

"Yeah?" I said as the door opened. It was Mrs. Salazar.

"You don't mind if Mrs. Salazar comes in do you?"

"No." I couldn't say yes. I would've made her upset.

"So? What was your plan for when you get home?" Asked Mrs. Johnson.

"I wanted to go home and kill myself." It took me a minute to say it, but I did.

"Well you know if someone tells me that they're going hurt themselves, kill someone else or kill themselves I have to tell the person that's looking after them." She said that while counting the options on her fingers.

The words pierced my ears, and felt like they burst my eardrums, my heart sunk. They were going to call my mom.