Renata

Chapter 12

Luca

Four days.

It's been four days since Serena has been gone. No contact from her. No phone calls, no texts, nothing to make me believe that she's okay. Total excruciating silence and I fucking hate it.

I can't sleep. I can't concentrate in school. I can't talk to anyone without snapping and the worst part, was that I could not tell this to anyone.

I thought she would sought out whatever happened and then call me because she knew how much not talking to her would affect me. I had two panic attacks in the last 4 days and I was lucky enough to have been in my room during those. The coping techniques my therapist had suggested to stop the attacks weren't working anymore. I'm tired now.

I thought of telling everyone so that they could help me but I had promised my sister. The only thing she asked of me was to not tell anyone of her existence. But was that promise valid now when I know she is in danger?

I look up at my mirror and the bags under my eyes are prominent. Anyone could take one look and know that I haven't been sleeping. I don't talk much during breakfast, lunch or dinner, afraid that I might breakdown and blurt everything out.

Everytime I think about her, a sudden hollow pit forms in my chest and the anxious feeling just comes back. I tried distracting myself but I just can't. I feel like breaking everything in my room to just get it out.

I feel like crying.

I want my sister. I want my Cherry here to tell me that it's all going to be okay. When I'm lost, she's the one I go to for guidance. Now that she's not here, I don't know who to go to or what to do. I don't know what I'll do if something happens to her.

I feel my heart beating faster and I look away from the mirror, trying to breathe through it but a knock distracts me. I take a deep breathe and slowly get up from my messy bed. Opening the door, I'm greeted with my 2nd eldest brother. Elijah looks at me and frowns, his eyes roaming over my face. I can't even conjure up a smile to dismiss his obvious worry. "Are you okay Luca?"

"Yes. What do you want?" My tone is on the verge of being rude and his frown deepens. Serena didn't raise me to be rude, so I sigh and mutter a small sorry. He slowly nods his head, "Everyone is here. We're having lunch together. Come downstairs." I nod and go back to my bed to take my phone. I notice I hadn't changed the hoodie I was wearing since yesterday. If Cherry knew I didn't shower today, she'd be angry. I change into a fresh one and promised myself to take a shower before going to bed.

Elijah is already gone. So I head downstairs and the chatter stops as soon as I enter the dining room. I groan inwardly. Eli must have told them and the lack of my natural charm and how crappy I look right now was enough evidence that something was going on. But thankfully no one questioned it. I look up for a second and catch my dad's eyes and he gives me a comforting smile. I clench my fist and give him an excuse of a smile back and quickly take my seat.

Dante is already over what happened four days ago and is now yapping away about something to Armani. I feel a headache forming from the noise and the lack of sleep isn't helping. I'm sure once we're done eating, dad would want to talk. So I'll have to run away before he gets a chance.

I love food but now it tastes bland. All I want to do is go up to my room and curl in my bed and just sleep, hoping that when I wake up, she'll be there. I heave a sigh when my head starts feeling heavy just like my heart. That last time I felt like this was when I got bullied at school and hid it from Serena. I was just 9 years old and I thought she would be disappointed that I didn't fight back, so I kept it a secret. But I should've known I couldn't hide anything from her.